


The Rather Serious Hobble of Being Alive

by among_the_wildflowers



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-01-26 07:17:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/among_the_wildflowers/pseuds/among_the_wildflowers
Summary: Damien Bloodmarch had a lot of complications in his life: a new house in a new city, a rebellious son who he couldn't seem to help, a high-stress job and lifestyle... he doesn't need an insufferably attractive new neighbor with a lot more baggage to add to Damien's already complicated life, and he really doesn't need another neighbor playing matchmaker.
Relationships: Damien Bloodmarch/Robert Small
Comments: 31
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

“This hobble of being alive is rather serious, don’t you think so?”  
― Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles

* * *

Damien rested his hands on his knees, leaning down enough that his ponytail fell over his shoulder. He held the pose for a moment while he caught his breath. Lugging boxes into a new, rather large house all day took a toll on him but it was almost done. Two more boxes and they’d be done. They referring to Damien and his son Lucien who was… he straightened back up only to see Lucien come back outside, good, they hadn’t even gotten all the boxes inside, nevermind unpacked anything. The big stuff, furniture and the like, had been moved in yesterday by the moving company but Damien would likely spend all afternoon making minor adjustments to positioning nevertheless.

“Ah, Lucien,” Damien said, sounding more out of breath than he would have liked “what do you say we get the last of these in and then take a lunch break?”

“Whatever, Dad,” Lucien replied before Damien cleared his throat “sorry, that sounds good, can we talk about it inside?”

Damien picked up the lighter box and handed it to the teenager “are you still upset about the move?”

Lucien sighed but took the box “inside?”

Damien closed his eyes for a moment, he never would have guessed that the sweet boy he’d had would turn out so moody. He followed Lucien in with the last box, only letting himself reminisce for a moment before he set the box down and sat down on the couch. “I know you’re upset about this but I hope you see that I am doing this for you as well, dear.”

Lucien took his headphones off and sat beside his father “I know, it just sucks. I just started making friends at Brighton.”

“I know you did, dear, I’m really quite sorry it had to happen like this… we’ll get you into a driver’s ed class, though, you wanted to drive, didn’t you?”

Lucien gave his dad a smile though Damien knew it was mainly to humor him “yeah, that’ll help. I’m going to go unpack my room.” Lucien got up but didn’t protest when Damien hugged him before he left. Damien remembered the stress of high school and would have done just about anything to alleviate some of it but he had been offered a position as a network administrator in the town of Maple Bay, nearly doubling the pay he’d received in Boston. Despite being well off before, Damien couldn’t help but feel that he could do so much more for Lucien now - pay for college or to get him set up somewhere if he didn’t want to go to college.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Damien opened it to find Mary outside. He was immediately greeted by a crushing hug. “Mary-” he hugged back “I can’t breathe.”

She stepped back and regained her usual ‘I don’t care’ composure. “Dames. Long-time no see.”

Mary had been one of Damien’s closest friends in college but Damien going to grad school and Mary moving out of the city had separated them more than Damien wished. “Come in, please, it isn’t much yet, but I suppose this is home.”

Mary rolled her eyes “oh yeah, real fixer-upper,” she ran her fingers along an ornate curtain “guess that Masters paid off, huh?”

Damien chuckled and followed her as she took in the home “I also have quite a few less children. Did you know the last owner?”

Mary leaned against the staircase luxuriously and Damien chuckled “so so,” she said, wavering one hand “recluse sort of guy, only lived here in the summers but even then we almost never saw him. Unlike you.”

“Is that so?” He asked contemplatively, sorting through a box labeled ‘kitchen’.

“You’re going to be social, I swear you will. It’s a weird group we’ve got but you’ll fit right in then, right?”

“Hm,” he sighed, closing the box again “walk me through this group of yours then. Who do I have to look forward to meeting?”

“I’ll do you one better. Joseph is throwing one of his Sunday BBQs tomorrow. You’ll come? If you don’t I’ll have no one to mock him with.”

“You know I can’t resist an opportunity to make fun of Joseph. I suppose I’ll fit it in.”

Lucien snuck past but his music was playing loud enough to be heard even through his headphones. “Lucien,” Damien called after him “be polite, please,” Lucien turned around and offered a smile and a nonchalant wave to Mary, for now, that’s all Damien needed. “Would you care to join us for lunch? I’m afraid I have yet to get the kitchen into working order but I will pay if you pick a good place.”

  
  


Mary took Damien and Lucien to a pizza place overlooking the water. “Mat, he’s in the cul-de-sac too, has a coffee shop, it’s pretty good, a little over the top, you’d like it.” She commented, taking a bite of her pepperoni pizza.

Damien nudged Lucien’s foot under the table as he started to take his phone out of his pocket “we’ll have to stop by sometime. I still think sixteen is too young to be drinking coffee every day but the schools have him doing so much I can hardly blame him. Speaking of which, Lucien was hoping there might be someone around his age around? He is worried about making new friends.”

“I am not! And don’t talk like I’m not here,” Lucien crossed his arms.

Damien nodded apologetically “yes, I suppose you’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Kids around sixteen?... Ernest is fourteen, that’s Hugo’s kid, you two would get along, Lucien. Shame Val doesn’t come by, she’d probably like you too, haven’t seen her in years, though. Real shame.” Mary was looking off over the water, Damien decided it was best not to ask further.

“Well maybe you can meet this Earnest tomorrow at the get-together.”

Lucien gave his father a look that read somewhere between ‘you can’t be serious’ and ‘I’ll do the dishes for a week if you let me stay home’ “do I have to?”

“I would like you to go for at least twenty minutes and say hi. You don’t have to make any best friends but I’d like you to be civil.”

“That’s what Joseph tells me before his BBQs too,” Mary mumbled and Damien hid a smile. They probably looked like one dysfunctional family, Mary on her third glass of wine, Damien in full goth attire, and Lucien snapping at his father loud enough to raise eyebrows.

  
  


Damien felt out of place, not that that was anything new, but he rarely felt out of place in his own home. He’d unpacked and set up his bedroom but by the time that was done, it was close to 10pm. He sat down on the king-sized bed and looked out the window. From the second story, he could see over the main road and its shops to the bay, the lights of the shipping yards and factories reflected off the water like stars but even outside of Boston, only the brightest of the actual stars could be seen. He reached over and flicked the curtains closed before laying down on the bed. He still needed to change and get ready for bed but he probably would have fallen asleep anyway were it not for his phone buzzing. He reached over and grabbed it.

_ Mary: Lucien is climbing out the window. Don’t tell him I told you, though. _

Damien rolled his eyes and got back up. Mary was right. He knocked on Lucien’s door to hear a thud, clearly, the sound of Lucien shutting the window again “may I come in?”

“Ummm…” a moment of silence as Lucien rummaged around his room “yeah, sure, come in.” He said once the room was as he wanted. Damien opened the door and saw that Lucien hadn’t started unpacking. A single throw blanket was on the unmade bed and his laptop was open on the desk but besides that, the room was untouched. “I came to say goodnight. Maybe tomorrow I can help you get unpacked?”

“Before or after you force me to meet people I won’t like?”

Damien fixed the collar of Lucien’s t-shirt, resulting in an eye roll but no further complaints “whichever you like, and I won’t make you stay the whole time.”

“There probably won’t even be food I can eat, what’s the point?”

Damien smiled sadly at his son “no, there probably won’t be, but the point is to say hi and be polite so that the neighbors don’t hate us.”

“Whatever, it’s still stupid,”

“Lucien…” Damien tutted but decided to let it go “goodnight, dear, should I wake you in the morning?”   
  


Lucien shook his head and hugged him, something he’d only ever do in the privacy of their own home “I have an alarm set, goodnight, Dad.”

Damien kissed Lucien’s hair before stepping back and going back upstairs to get ready for bed. He changed into a baggy nightshirt and sweatpants before laying down. He sent a thank you text to Mary and asked what time he should be over tomorrow but there was no reply. He’d just have to figure that part out himself, he supposed. That had been a lot of what he’d been doing lately, after all, it was only fitting.


	2. Chapter 2

Damien’s formal attire and manner might have suggested that he’d be the kind to wake up early to look out his window at the sunrise but one of those assumptions would be false. Instead, the next morning, Damien was sitting in the windowsill of his library and watching the midday sun over the neighborhood. He wasn’t much of a morning person unless he had a good reason to be, today he didn’t. He wasn’t spying really but his book wasn’t holding his attention enough to keep his eyes from wandering to the movement outside his window whenever one of his (seemingly many) neighbors mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, or doing any other household chore. He’d seen someone from each house except for one, the one directly beside his. Were it not for the pickup truck in the driveway, Damien might have thought the house abandoned with the terrible shape it was in. He finished his page before slipping the bookmark into place when he noticed a few families had made their way over to Mary’s house.

When he got downstairs, Lucien was already putting on his boots. Damien checked the floor-length mirror to ensure that his outfit was impeccable before turning to his son “thank you, Lucien.”

Lucien looked up, hair falling into his eyes “as long as the food is good it can’t be  _ that _ bad.”

Damien fixed the collar of Lucien’s shirt and smiled “I’m sure it will be. Shall we go?”

Lucien stood up, he was getting close to his father’s height - both Damien and Lucien’s  _ other _ father. Damien decided that that would be a thought for another time as he stepped outside. Mary’s house was beside their very absent neighbor’s and Damien couldn’t help but sneak a glance at it to see if he could see anything through the window but they were covered by black curtains. Mary opened the door before Damien even knocked.

“Dames,” she grinned “I was getting scared you’d ditched me,” she sipped the wine glass she held as if it wasn’t noon on a Sunday.

“I’d never dream of it,” he said, stepping inside when she moved to let them in. Lucien disappeared into the backyard to escape his father and likely find a place to sit and listen to music.

“He reminds me of you,” she laughed, handing Damien a glass of wine.

“How so?” he took the glass though he didn’t plan on making day drinking a habit, he was more of a tea person.

“Same vibe of ‘I would like to be anywhere else but here’ that you went through college with.”

Damien laughed “I hope for his sake that he’s more well adjusted than I was at his age.”

Mary’s expression changed for a fraction of a second “should we go outside?”

Damien followed her out. Everyone was talking in small groups already. Damien recognized Joseph by the grill, he also wasn’t surprised when he scanned the yard and found Lucien sitting by the fence with his headphones on. Mary took Damien to a group of people on the opposite side of the yard from Lucien.

“Dames, this is Hugo, Mat, and Brian. Craig is with Joseph at the grill and… well, I guess that’s everyone for now.” A look was shared between two of the other men, Damien didn’t pry further “this is Damien, he just moved next door.”

A well-dressed man extended his hand “pleasure to meet you, I’m Hugo,” He recognized the name from Mary describing some of the neighbors yesterday but couldn’t remember what she’d said about him.

Damien shook his hand “you as well. You’re in the neighborhood as well?”

Hugo sat down at the picnic table under the large evergreen and, while he did feel a tinge of nervousness when separating from Mary, he followed. Hugo seemed nice enough. “Yes, my son and I live across the street. Do you live on your own?”

“I have a son as well, actually, he’s…” he glanced around the yard “apparently he has grown bored and left.”

Hugo laughed “they seem like they would get along. Ernest has likely locked himself in a bedroom somewhere to avoid having to hang out with his dad’s friends.”

“Well if luck is on our side, perhaps they will be able to avoid their parents together. Lucien has always had the hardest time making friends and I feel absolutely awful taking him away from the friends he had in Boston.”

“What brought you out here anyway?”

“I received a better job offer. Have you been in the neighborhood long?”

Hugo leaned back slightly and hummed “probably close to three years now. It’s a great place.” Hugo stood up when a new figure was brought over by Mary “nice to see you, Robert,”

The new man, presumably Robert, had his arm around Mary as if she wasn’t married and standing fifteen feet from her husband “wouldn’t miss Joseph's burgers, even if it does mean having to risk a certain teenager trying to bum cigarettes all afternoon,”

Damien felt his chest tighten at the thought that Lucien might be picking up more bad habits and was about to stumble through an apology when Hugo got to it before him “that boy… well, I suppose I should go have a talk with him. It was nice to see you, and nice to meet you, Damien.”

Damien stood and bowed slightly before replying “I hope we can meet again under less chaotic circumstances.”

“Dames, this is my other best friend, Robert. He’s a bit of a hermit sometimes so you two should have lots to bond over.”

“Interesting name,  _ Dames _ ,” Robert said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Damien. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Robert. I’m afraid I may have introduced another teenager into the neighborhood to pester you, though.”

Robert nodded “that explains Ernest’s new partner in crime.”

Damien knew that he should be disappointed in Lucien but honestly, he was just happy that he was making friends, even if they weren’t the best of influences. He also was fairly sure that Lucien’s behavior wasn’t going to make him many friends.

“I apologize for my son’s behavior. He’s… still adjusting.”

Mary had wandered off to refill her wine, leaving them alone. Something about Robert put Damien on edge. “I probably wasn't too different at that age. Few less piercings, though. My dad would have been a hell of a lot less forgiving, though.”

Damien was used to his parenting style being questioned, it didn’t make it feel any better, though. “So what do you do for a living, Robert?”

Robert’s eyes were harsh for a moment, not in an angry way, more like that was just his regular look. Damien didn’t understand it. “I hate small talk. If you want to talk about something real, let’s talk, otherwise, I’m going to get a drink.”

Damien was a bit taken aback but he did see the value in Robert’s statement. He respected his honesty if nothing else. “Allow me to make it up to you by inviting you over for a drink another time, then, once I’ve unpacked.” That was a rare moment of bravery from Damien, but he did really want the neighbors to like him, especially one who was so close with Mary. “Until then, can I grab you something? I should go make sure my son is still on the property.”

“Whiskey,” Robert said shortly and leaned against the bench.

Damien went inside and found Lucien laying on the couch watching tv on his phone. He also found Mary holding Chrish in the kitchen. “Odd question,” he asked, leaning against the counter.

She looked up “shoot.”

“Do you have whiskey around?”

She laughed and grabbed a bottle from on top of the fridge “either you’ve really changed since the last time we talked, or Robert has you doing errands for him.”

“Latter,” Damien replied, taking the bottle and a glass off the counter.

She glanced around the room and lowered her voice. She wasn’t discreet very often, this was unusual for her. “You aren’t trying to fuck Robert, are you?”

Damien scoffed “don’t be vulgar, Mary, I’m not  _ trying _ to do anything besides trying to be nice.” He knew she wasn’t convinced but he decided to let it go and just return to the yard with Robert’s drink. A boy a bit younger than Lucien, he assumed that must have been Ernest, was sitting in front of Robert. When he got closer he could see that Ernest was watching him with great interest as Robert showed him a knife, which was slightly disconcerting but then again most of Damien’s lifestyle could also be considered creepy so he didn’t judge. Robert looked up and put the knife back into his jacket pocket, which seemed unsafe, and took the glass instead “thanks, brother. So, what brought you and Mary together in college?”

Damien sat beside Robert on the table “we lived in the same building for a while until I had Lucien.”

“Nice to see fathers sticking around to look after their kids. Mom’s not in the picture?”

Damien decided that it was best to just go along with it, he wasn’t technically lying “it’s just me and Lucien, yes.”

“Seems tough.” He sipped his whiskey “that old house suites you, all goth and stuff.”

“I prefer a Victorian aesthetic but there are still many renovations to be done before it will be where I want it.”

Robert eyed him for a moment “I can tell. You really go all-in with these things, huh?”

“I take great pride in my work, yes.”

They sit in silence for a moment, Robert sipping his whiskey and Damien watching the people around them until he realized that could be considered a bit creepy and turned instead to checking the progress of the two large gargoyles he had ordered. “So if you and Mary were so close in college, were you a bit of a party animal too?”

Damien laughed softly “I was rather wild in my youth, I will admit. Mary was quite a horrible influence.”

“I hope you haven’t lost all of that wild quite yet, we could use someone to go bar hopping with this weekend.”

“I could probably be convinced to do that, though I probably can’t hold my liquor as well as I could in college.”

“I look forward to it either way.”

  
  


When Damien got back home, Lucien was already in his room with music on so Damien took to unpacking more of the boxes, this time focusing on the library. It would take him all day to get all of his books out and organized and even once he was done, he’d have to add more to his collection to fill the larger space that the new home provided, but unfortunately he had other things that needed to be attended to before he could focus on the seemingly never-ending task of interior decorating. Just as he sat down at his computer to send in Lucien’s immunization records before he started school, he saw the texts on his phone.

Mary: Anything you need to tell me?

He had the self-control to send the forms in, at least completing the bare minimum of his responsibilities before replying.

You will really need to be more specific, Mary, when you send things like this. I truly have no idea what you think I should be informing you of.

Mary: Like the fact that you’re trying to get into Robert’s pants?

You know very well I have no such plans. I do plan on spending more time with him, though, I must admit. He has a certain charm about him.

Mary: I rest my case.

I have no interest in pursuing romantic relationships anymore. I am perfectly content raising Lucien and being satisfied intellectually.

Mary: that’s bullshit. Anyway, should be interesting going bar hopping this weekend. Don’t think I wouldn’t hear about the little date you asked him on either.

I did not do anything of the sort. I merely invited him over for tea as a way of making up for a social blunder.

Mary: bit of advice, never offer Robert Small tea. I’m happy for you either way, glad you’re making friends. ;)

Damien decided that it was best to leave the conversation there, it seems he had quite a bit of work to do tonight if the bar-hopping adventure he’d been invited on had moved from being a theoretical day sometime in the future to a tomorrow night event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me comments and kudos, they keep me motivated!


	3. Chapter 3

“Please do remember to get something to eat tonight, Lucien,” Damien said, straightening his cravat. He’d chosen a more casual look for tonight, but Damien’s version of a casual going-out look would likely be garishly overdressed in anyone else’s eyes, “There’s money on the table if you’d like to order anything.”

Lucien didn’t reply though his door was cracked open so Damien knocked lightly on it with his knuckles “did you hear me?”

“Yeah,” Lucien said, though Damien wasn’t convinced that his son had really understood what he was saying. He would surely figure it out, though, he was nearly an adult now.

“I must depart now, I will be home by midnight.”

“Have fun,” Lucien said in a monotone. Damien left the house to find Mary and Robert sitting on Robert’s front steps.

Mary stood up and smiled at Damien once she saw him “you ready to go, Dracula?”

Damien scoffs “after all these years with me, you still have no appreciation for the work that goes into my aesthetic.”

“Funny,” she pulls Robert up from the steps “that’s the same thing Robert tells me when I say his house looks like shit.”

Robert was quiet until the Uber pulled up “that’s us,” he said. Damien met his eyes for a second. There was something there that Damien didn’t understand, as if Robert was daring him to slip up and embarrass himself. Luckily, Damien didn’t scare easily.

Robert sat in the passenger seat, leaving Damien and Mary to the back. Mary leaned against Damien. “Like old times, right?”

“I do recall ‘old times’ involving a lot of me carrying you home, I sincerely hope we’ve matured some since then.”

“I also remember some of your embarrassing stories, should we start sharing?”

Damien chuckled “I’d prefer to let those moments remain in the past for the time being, and we will not be repeating them tonight.”

The first bar wasn’t far from the cul-de-sac, the plan being to make their way closer to home and then walk back. The group walked in, Robert took the first round, ordering two whiskeys and a red wine for Damien. Damien didn’t plan on getting too out of control tonight, or any other night for that matter. He was here for the company more than the alcohol. It seemed that Robert had other plans as he barely said a word as Mary and Damien caught back up on each other's lives. Damien was fairly certain that this evening might have been very different had Mary not been there. Damien could appreciate silence, there was something nice about sitting in silence and just enjoying someone’s company, but there was something very off-putting about the way that Robert was watching him.

Damien decided to cut the night short after the second bar as he was starting to feel tipsy and he did not want to embarrass himself tonight. Mary hugged him and Robert gave him a polite nod when he left. “Hope to see you again some time soon, Bloodmarch.” He replied as Damien adjusted his cloak.

“I believe that I still owe you a drink once I am fully moved in,” he reminded Robert before he left. He couldn’t tell if his nerves that night were from his walk home alone or his interactions with Robert. Although every instinct he had was telling him to stay far away from Robert, he also found himself looking forward to their next interaction.

  
  


Damien didn’t sleep well that night. He remembered his anxiousness moving from the area he knew into a new social group. Mary had ensured him that the cul-de-sac was extremely accepting but that look Robert kept giving him made him feel like maybe she wasn’t quite as aware of people’s opinions as she thought. The next day was filled with getting ready to start work, making sure that Lucien was ready to start school, continuing to decorate the house, and avoiding his phone and computer so that he didn’t have to see the message he had gotten from Robert last night. He almost never used his Dadbook but he still had notifications turned on so he had to actively avoid checking it now ever since he’d gotten the notification at around 6am. Temptation eventually got the better of him once he had finally set up the kitchen. 

_ Robert: u up? _

_ Robert: I see your lights on _

_ Robert: goodnight _

Damien chuckled and sat down at his computer to answer.

_ Robert, _

_ I’m afraid I was away from my computer and phone while I was arranging my kitchen. Truth be told, I was in quite a bit of a hurry to settle in so that I could invite you over for a drink. It has come to my attention that I may need to visit a liquor store post hence before your visit because my pantry as yet mainly has wine, tea, and Diet Coca Cola (Lucien’s request rather than mine). I must ask for your forgiveness for my prolongation in replying to your messages. I hope you sleep well, my new friend. _

_ Yours, humbled, _

_ Damien Bloodmarch _

There wasn’t a reply until Damien had returned from his trip downtown with new gardening materials for the backyard which was currently very neglected, food for the kitchen which was now usable, and a bottle of whiskey which he would be hiding from Lucien.

_ Robert: Tea isn’t my thing but wine is good, she’s no whiskey though. There’s no excuse for having diet coke in your house, though, that’s nasty. _

I would be most honored should you choose to join me for tea and possibly something stronger after I return from work tomorrow at the hour of 5pm. In truth, I would love to enjoy your company sooner but I also must remember my career and I have heard somewhere that distance makes the heart grow stronger.

_ Robert: sure thing _

Damien wasn’t sure how he found himself so intrigued by a man who also vaguely terrified him. He took his mind off of it by looking at animal shelter websites. Despite Lucien’s allergies, Damien still enjoyed looking at all the adoptable dogs nearby. He was surprised to see that there was a small shelter just a few blocks away. It was hidden in the industrial district which explained why Damien hadn’t seen it before but it would only be a few minutes out of his way coming home from work… he decided to fill out the volunteer form to just in case he had some extra time on his hands. Of course, this meant that as soon as he finished with his first very slow day of fixing people’s internet problems, he found himself kneeling on a concrete floor with a large Doberman slobbering on his face.

“Sorry about him,” the employee said, pulling the dog back “he gets over-excited.”

“Oh that’s just fine, he’s a very good boy,” he stood up and fixed his work clothes and hair “I’d love to stay longer but I have a… I am busy tonight. I can spare enough to take the dogs on walks, though.”

Damien was only a little disappointed between walks when he didn’t see any messages from Robert when he checked his phone between walks. Lucien should be home by now and he was sure that his son would call him if a strange man showed up on their doorstep asking for alcohol… but that didn’t lessen his disappointment when he came home to find the house empty, not that he wanted Lucien letting in strangers because that would definitely be a bad thing for him to encourage as a parent… and anyway, he still wanted to change and tidy up before he had guests. He, luckily (at least he convinced himself that it was lucky), had time to shower, change, and pick up after himself and Lucien with still no sign of Robert. In fact, his truck wasn’t even his driveway, not that he was watching, just occasionally glancing out the window. It was eleven when Damien gave up on his meeting with Robert and retired to bed. He left his phone turned on and his bedroom door open, though, just in case.

He woke up to the sound of a message on his phone, he was so groggy that he almost just turned his phone off and went back to bed but he decided that it might be an emergency so he should probably check it.

_ Robert: I saw that the lights were off when I got home so I didn’t knock. Didn’t want you to think I’m the kind of guy that blows things like this off. Raincheck? _

Damien smiled, feeling relieved that Robert hadn’t completely bailed on him.

_ That is unless perchance you would have time to spare now? I sincerely doubt that Lucien is asleep and I am awake now so I might as well have some company. _

It was only 1… god, what had gotten into him. He deleted the unsent message. There would be time another night.

_ I will take you up on that offer, goodnight, Robert. _

  
  


The next morning he made breakfast in the newly furnished kitchen. He ate on his own, Lucien preferring to eat in his room so that he could finish his homework before getting to school. Normally Damien would have protested but if that’s what it took for Lucien to do his schoolwork, it was a sacrifice that he could occasionally make. While he ate, he wrote a letter to Robert which was far more his style than texting while half-asleep.

_ My dear Robert, _

_ I must sincerely apologize for not being available last night. I’m afraid that I may not be quite as spontaneous as I was in my youth. I must admit, however, that the thought of spending the rest of the night with you was rather tempting and, in truth, I almost abandoned slumber in favor of your company. It seems that you have been quite a terrible influence on me but yet I do not wish for our communications to cease. In fact, I find the disruption to my daily routine that you have caused rather invigorating and I look forward to seeing you upon a later date. Perhaps on a night that I do not have any commitments the following day, I could be convinced to join you for a drink. I am not the sort of man who forgets a promise, or worse, simply ignores it and I very much do intend to have you over for a drink. _

_ Yours, apologetically, _

_ Damien Bloodmarch _

He sealed the letter before he returned to his duties as a father of making sure that Lucien was awake and out of the house on time to catch his bus. He went to drop the letter off in Robert’s mailbox but found that it was already close to overflowing with unread mail. Damien decided instead to leave the letter on Robert’s doorstep. He decided that would be the last time he allowed himself to think of Robert until he finished with work.

Luckily, it was a rather busy day. Damien preferred having quite a bit of work to do as it provided him with something to do. His coworkers mingled a lot on slow days but Damien found that he didn’t quite fit in with his coworkers. They were all polite enough and the workers he supervised were timely and respectful which was really all Damien could ask for but he had a sense that he would not be making many friends at the office. During his lunch break, he saw an email titled “Parent-Teacher Conferences - Urgent.”

Oh dear, Lucien, what have you done? Damien thought to himself.

_ Mr. Damien Bloodmarch _

_ I hope this email finds you well. My name is Hugo Vega, I am Lucien’s English teacher. I usually do parent-teacher conferences in September but seeing as Lucien is joining us part-way through the year and that date has already passed, I would like to meet with you about your son’s adjustment to a new school as soon as possible. I’m afraid that, while it is obvious to me that Lucien is a bright child, I overheard him berating his fellow students for their inability as of yet to grasp rather complicated concepts, his transcript does not seem to reflect his ability. I hope that proper mentorship can correct this trend. I am happy to meet with you any weekday after school dismissal and before 5. Please let me know when a convenient time for you is. _

_ Mr. Vega, _

_ English Department, _

_ Maple Bay High School _

Damien was relieved to see that Lucien had at least not in any serious trouble. Yet. He replied to the email before writing the time for the meeting into his calendar and returning to the long list of emails on his work email.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking last week off! I'm splitting my time between two fics and I'm trying to post a chapter of each every week but finals are coming up and I'm a bit swamped at the moment. I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyway!  
Please leave kudos and comments to let me know what you think of it!


	4. Chapter 4

Several days passed before Damien heard back from Robert. His top priority shifted to bringing the severely neglected garden back to life and volunteering at the animal shelter. Damien could happily spend hours in the garden now that the air was starting to warm up and he’d found a few hours that afternoon between getting home from the shelter and his meeting with Hugo. He was surprised when he heard Lucien’s footsteps on the gravel pathway, Lucien did not share in his father’s passion for gardening or enjoy the outdoors much.

“Lucien, is there something I can do for you?” He stood and dusted the dirt off his hands.

“Neighbor wants to see you.”

“Ah,” he sat his trowel down next to the rhododendrons that still needed to the planted “thank you for telling me.”

Lucien put his headphones back on and disappeared back into the house. Damien washed his hands and fixed his hair before he answered the door. Damien didn’t realize that he was hoping to see Robert until he felt a tinge of disappointment when he saw Mary at his doorstep: she did have brownies, though.

“Mary, do come in,” he stepped back to let her inside and took the tray from her “you’re really too kind.”

“Don’t go telling people that, now, you’ll wreck my reputation. Leftovers from the bake sale.”

He set the tray on the counter “well regardless of that, I am grateful. Can I get you anything to drink?”

She declined and sat down on one of the luxurious couches “so, let’s get right to it,”

He sat beside her “I’m afraid I do not follow your line of thinking here,”

“You aren’t answering my texts. There a reason you’re writing Robert letters?”

Damien sighed and laughed softly “I am only writing to him because I find texting far too impersonal,”

“You never write me letters,” she argued.

“I used to, you never opened them.”

She was quiet for a second “well the point is that you’ve really got the whole neighborhood talking now,”

“Mary, I highly doubt that the situation is quite as dramatic as you suggest - and furthermore, how would everyone know about a private conversation I had?”

“Because we have windows and when we get bored we spy on the neighbors, this is how the suburbs work and you’ll need to be a lot sneakier if you want your affair to remain unnoticed by the rest of the cul-de-sac.”

If Damien was anyone else, he would have rolled his eyes “it’s hardly an affair, he simply asked when I would be available for me to show him the house and I replied. I fail to see why this has caught your interest in such a way, friend.”

She scoffed “show him around the house, I’m sure,” she pointedly avoided the second half of Damien’s statement “well, I just came to drop off the brownies and let you know that you’re not as subtle as you think, you have a parent-teacher conference to get to soon anyway.”

He walked her to the door “I do - how did you know that?”

“No secrets in this neighborhood, love.”

  
  


Damien sat down across from Hugo and prepared for the worst, he’d had his share of people tell him what an awful father he was and how Lucien was a nightmare. While he would admit that Lucien was a handful and that his parenting style was a tad unconventional, he was not above walking out of another meeting even if it was with his neighbor should the conversation inevitably turn to that.

“Thank you for meeting with me. It’s good to see you again.” Hugo said pleasantly. There was always the calm before the storm when it came to these things.

“And you as well, thank you for reaching out.”

“Of course, you see, I’m concerned about Lucien. As I said in my email, it’s clear he’s a bright child I just…” he hesitated and sighed “I can’t seem to get through to him. He doesn’t have much motivation or… for lack of a better description, much respect for authority or his peers. I know moving schools can be very tough on a child and, excuse me if I’m prying too much but, you are a single father, correct?”

Damien nodded “no, it’s perfectly alright. The move has been tough on him but I must admit, he was not exactly a stellar student to begin with. If I am to be honest, I have a hard time connecting with him as well, he’s rather rebellious. He spends one weekend per month with his other father, I do the majority of the parenting.”

Hugo nodded “I just wanted to ask if there was anything I could do to help adjust? I hate to see any of my students fall behind but I really don’t know what else to do at this point, I’ve offered to help him after school and during breaks as well as given him extra credit opportunities but he’s declined both. While it seems like he has a desire to learn he doesn’t seem like he really wants to be taught.”

Damien couldn’t help but smile “that seems like a very apt assessment. I will speak to him about the matter of raising his grades.”

“Thank you, if there’s one thing I’ve gathered from him it is that he has great respect for you, it would be nice if that carried over to other authority figures, but I’m glad he has someone. Does he have any aspirations after high school?”

That was the question Damien was dreading “that is a topic we are working on. As of yet, he has not found something he’d like to pursue, but it is an ongoing conversation.”

Hugo nodded “that’s perfectly normal, he’s still young, do let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

  
  


When Damien got home, he found that Lucien was not home. It was only 6 so he wasn’t worried yet but he did need to have a word with him about leaving without telling him where he was going. He went to the back garden to finish planting the rhododendrons before they began to wilt. He finished that section and drained the water features so they could be cleaned upon a later date but the sun was about to set and he could not do much work once he lost his light and it got cold. It wasn’t until he got inside that he realized how tired and hungry he was, he had been a bit too preoccupied to think about eating or sleeping that afternoon. He took out his phone and texted Lucien to tell him to come home for dinner soon before putting a record on and starting to cook. He set down the pepper he was slicing when his phone beeped a few minutes later.

_ Lucien: can I have dinner at Ernest’s? His dad says its fine. _

Damien smiled and sighed with relief. He was making friends, and there was no way his teacher’s son could be that bad on an influence.

_ Yes, that is fine, please thank Mr. Vega for me and tell him that he’s always welcome at our house for dinner in return. _

He had prepared more than enough food for just himself but he could always take leftovers to work so he decided to continue as he was instead of decreasing how much he was making, the ratios of ingredients would be wrong if he stopped now anyway. He was about to pour himself a glass of wine when someone knocked on the door. Dear Lord, he thought, if Lucien has already done something to be asked to leave… but it wasn’t Lucien outside which was… well, he didn’t know if that was a relief or not.

“Robert, lovely to see you. Is there something I can do for you?”

Robert looked him up and down quickly in a way that made Damien’s skin crawl “would now be a good time to take you up on that drink?”

Damien smiled and took a step back “of course, I’d love to have your company. I actually made too much dinner if I could interest you in a bowl of chili as well.”

Robert stepped inside and took off his gloves, revealing scar covered hands. Damien was far too much of a gentleman to ask about them, though. “Uh, yeah, that sounds great. Lucien’s staying with Hugo?”

Damien went to the kitchen to serve dinner “yes, he is. What can I get you to drink?”

Robert stayed by the door, seeming unsure of what to do next “I’ll take whiskey if you have it.”

Damien served dinner for both of them and a glass of whiskey for Robert as well as a glass of red wine for himself “please, sit. I’m pleased to have your company.”

“Thank you,” Robert sat across from Damien and eyed the glass of wine he had for a second, Damien was not sure how to interpret that. He was distracted when Robert kept talking. “This is really great, it’s been a while since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.”

Damien thanked him and they were silent for a while as they ate until Damien stook to clear their dishes. Robert grabbed his hand which made him flinch back in surprise “let me,” he said, sounding a tad nervous. Damien hesitantly sat down again, sensing that this was not an argument that Robert was going to compromise on. Once Robert was out of the room, Damien took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he was too worked up over nothing but something about Robert… He didn’t hear him reenter the room until he felt water splash across his back. He yelped and jumped out of his chair in shock, he spun around to see Robert, looking equally shocked with a flask in his hand “that wasn’t how I pictured this going…”

Damien was thoroughly confused until he saw the garlic cloves scattered around his feet, then he burst out laughing “oh dear, Robert, well I’m sorry to inform you that I am not a vampire, but I must compliment you on your dedication to finding out. In the future, should you have any questions, I’d much prefer you ask me, but I can confirm that I am one hundred percent human.”

Robert ran his hands through his hair “fuck, I’m sorry, I just… the signs were all there…”

Damien chuckled “I’m afraid that I have heard that many times before… I am flattered that my dedication to my aesthetic is that convincing... may I ask if that is why you were acting so strangely around me?”

“Yeah, I guess so, I’ll clean this up, sorry about that.”

Damien handed him a cloth “that would be very appreciated, I’ll go change.”

  
  


Damien changed into dry clothes and blowdried his hair so the water did not make it frizzy. He knew he should be mad at Robert but honestly, he was just amused by his dedication and glad that all of his suspicious looks had been because he was trying to decide whether he was a supernatural being and not because… he set his wet clothes in the laundry basket before he went back downstairs to join Robert in the lounge room.

“I wasn’t sure where you wanted it so I just put the rag in the sink.” Robert said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans “I’m really sorry, again, I owe you one, man,”

Damien smiled and brushed his hair behind his ears “it’s perfectly alright, I wish I could say this was a new experience, well, the garlic and - holy water I presume?”

Robert nodded and rubbed the back of his neck “yeah, bribed an alter boy to get me a bottle.”

“I’m impressed,” Damien said honestly “that part was new. Now that we’ve cleared up that business, can I offer you some tea and biscuits? I have not fully arranged the garden as of yet but the patio is furnished if you wanted to sit outside and watch the sunset with me.”

“That sounds really nice, actually,”

Robert insisted on helping with the dishes while Damien made tea and set a selection of pastries that he’d made the night before on a tray. Damien insisted that he was just fine letting Robert wait in the lounge room but it was clear that Robert was going to help whether he liked it for not, and Damien was happy to have the help once he realized that fact. Robert allowed Damien to carry the kettle, cups, and tray out but insisted on holding the door for him and pulling out his chair on the patio.

“I would not have anticipated you to be such a gentleman, Robert,” Damien said, sitting primly in his chair.

“I’m not really, but I figure I owe you after chucking water and garlic at you.”

Damien was sure that it was just the orange light of the sunset on Robert’s face, but it also looked as if he might have been blushing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there's some transphobia (only a few lines) in this chapter so be aware of that

“I’d like for you to answer this honestly,” Damien began as he lit an oil candle between them “was any perceived interest you showed in me purely curiosity about whether I was human?”

Robert leaned back in his chair and stretched “what do you think, Bloodmarch?”

Something about Robert’s tone made Damien swallow nervously, not that he’d ever let it show, he sat down and watched Robert contemplatively for a minute “well, either you’re very polite and staying here so as to save my feelings and humor me, which I doubt, or you had another motive to coming here tonight besides assessing my species. Is looking for monsters a habit of yours or am I just that convincing?”

Robert chuckled “it is actually, a hobby of mine, I mean. I’ve made a bit of a career out of it.”

“How so?” Damien inquired, realizing he didn’t know what Robert did for a living.

“I’m a hitman who disguises my kills as supernatural beings.”

Damien watched him for a minute in silence, waiting for any sign that he was joking “that’s a rather ingenious technique,” he eventually said, “but I have a feeling that you’re being disingenuous.”

“What gave it away? I write thrillers.”

Damien smiled “an author? That’s a respectable career, though slightly less exciting than a hired killer.”

“I like to think I can still be rather exciting,” he gave Damien a wink and a smirk that showed his incisors.

“Oh, is that so?” Damien rolled his eyes which was rather uncharacteristic of him, he usually didn’t let down this persona around strangers so early but perhaps Robert couldn’t be considered a stranger anymore. He wasn’t going to let those tricks work on him, Robert was the kind of person who flirted with everyone, that much Damien could tell from their first meeting “I’m sure moves like that work rather well on most people?”

“You’re not most people, are you, though?”

Damien laughed and crossed his legs “no, I suppose not. You’ll need to restrain yourself a bit more than that, I’m not as impulsive as I once was.”

“I wish I’d known you then, in that case.”

Damien looked over the now-dark horizon “yes, I am sure you do. If you’re interested in literary works, I have quite an extensive library, I could show you,”

Robert finished off his tea and smiled “lead the way,”

Damien took the tray of their food and drink back into the kitchen before relocking the back door and taking Robert upstairs. By this point, the library was almost fully stocked with books. A carefully curated mixture of vintage editions, modern reprints, and a few particularly interesting contemporary works inhabited the shelves that lined the walls along with the butterfly print case.

“Holy shit,” Robert said as Damien held the door for him “have you read all of these?”

Damien stood next to him as he scanned the shelves “nearly, though a few are new and I have yet to read them. I have space for a few more if you… if that isn’t too intrusive?”

“Huh?” Robert asked, caught off guard as he spun a globe with his fingertips “oh, mine?”

Damien sat down on the windowsill which was large enough to be made into a rather comfortable seat with the edition of a cushion and nodded. The light of the chandelier above them made the lines on Robert’s face more prominent, Damien thought that it somehow fit him.

“Sure, I guess, they probably don’t fit with all the Shakespeare and Byron, though,”

“I don’t discriminate," he decided now was not the point to bring up the fact that neither of those authors were victorian, which made up the majority of his library "-by genre, I mean,”

Robert took off his jacket “can I -” he was cut off by the door slamming downstairs and then a yell.

“Dad!” Lucien yelled “where do we keep the first aid kit?”

Damien stood up quickly “I-I’m terribly sorry, I-”

Robert shook his head “it’s fine,” he smiled “go, I’ll follow you down,”

Damien found Lucien standing by the doorway with Ernest, whose forehead was bleeding “Lucien, what - how did this happen?”

“He slipped.” Lucien said quickly at the same time that Ernest said “bit by a dog.”

Damien took the first aid kit out of the cupboard “he slipped onto a dog who subsequently bit his face then?” He took out a disinfectant wipe and cleaned off Ernest’s face. Lucien started to stammer out a response but Lucien stopped him “we can talk about it later.”

Lucien looked at his shoes while Damien put a bandage over the gash on Ernest’s forehead “can you not tell Mr. Vega?” he asked quietly.

Damien sighed “I’m afraid he might notice a scar like that, but I won’t say anything unless I’m asked.” He wiped a bead of blood off Lucien’s lip “whether you decide to be honest about this whole affair is your choice.”

Lucien wrinkled his nose and pulled his head back, holding his father’s wrist “thanks, dad,” he muttered before elbowing Ernest “come on, shit for brains, we can sneak back in through your window and you can cover it with makeup tomorrow.” Then left back out as quickly and as loudly as they’d entered the house.

Damien looked back to Robert who was standing on the stairs still “I’m sorry about that. He’s… “ he decided to not continue that thought “where were we?”

“I should get going,” Robert said, pushing his salt and pepper hair back “not because of - I just, it’s late, and you seem like you have your hands full.”

Damien nodded, hiding his disappointment “of course, you’re probably right, thank you for your company tonight.”

“Thank you for having me. Can I see you again?”

Damien smiled “I’d like that. Could I convince you to go for dinner somewhere?”

“I’ll text you.”

Damien showed Robert out and once the door closed, Damien found himself smiling and leaning back against the door like a teenager.

  
  


Damien was listening to a record and painting in his studio when Lucien returned home at close to midnight. To Damien’s surprise, Lucien came and sat with him instead of going straight to bed. Damien took off his glasses and moved his canvas to the side, they sat cross-legged on the floor facing each other in silence for a few minutes before Lucien started talking.

“We snuck out and went to the highway to throw rocks at cars,”

Damien had to fight the urge to get angry, he hated how reckless his son could be but not because he was mad  _ at _ him because he was terrified that his reckless behavior would result in him getting hurt. “Are you both okay?” He asked.

Lucien nodded “we cracked this guy’s window and he pulled over, Ernest tripped on a root while we were running.”

Damien sighed in relief and he also realized how depressing it was that this story was worse than what he was imagining “I’m glad you’re safe. Please don’t…”

He didn’t need to finish. Lucien leaned over and hugged him “I won’t. Can we watch a movie or something?”

Damien nodded into his shoulder “of course, you go pick one out and I’ll clean up.”

  
  


Damien decided that the appropriate time to wait before contacting Robert was 48 hours so two days after their last meeting, he sat down during his lunch break at work to write him a letter. He always kept high-quality paper, a quill, and ink in his desk for occasions such as this.

_ My dear Robert, _

_ I find myself writing this without being fully certain what the purpose of it is. I spent much of last night pondering my desire to contact you but was unable to come to a firm conclusion besides the singular fact which I am certain of - I rather enjoyed your company and hope dearly that you feel the same. As we are still little more than acquaintances at this point in time, I have to assume that you do not fully understand the gravity of that statement. I have oft been described as a rather reclusive person and while I do not directly avoid contact with others or interpersonal relationships, I rarely seek them out. It has been quite some time since I found myself yearning for someone’s company in the way I am now, I hope that does not make me sound too despondent or uncouth when I admit that. I hope to hear from you in the near future if you feel, in at least some form, the same way. _

_ Yours, in friendship, Damien Bloodmarch _

He sealed the letter and dropped it off at Robert’s doorstep once he got home, noting that Robert’s truck was not in the driveway yet again, as it would not be for several days. Damien found himself checking dadbook more than he probably ever had in the past over the next few days in case Robert messaged him but after about a week, he found himself wrapped up in work and the shelter. The holidays were coming up which were the shelter’s busiest time of the year so Damien spent more time there than usual in order to help out. He was filling in at the front desk when the bell rang to signal that someone had walked in.

“Hi,” he said to the elderly woman that walked in “how can I help you?”

“Do you have any kittens?”

“We do,” he said in a friendly customer service voice “if you follow me, I’ll show you back,”

He kept an ear out for the door as he showed her to the kitten room and listened to her talk about the two cats she already had. He was almost relieved when he heard the bell again and excused himself. He was shocked out of his usual confidence in the shelter when he saw Robert.

“Mary said I could find you here.”

“Of course she did,” he fixed his collar, hyper-aware of the fact that he was wearing his work clothes “what can I do for you?”

“I’ve been thinking of getting a guard dog, caught a certain teenage hooligan picking my lock last night,”

Damien shook his head “I’m sorry about him, I didn’t even know he snuck out. I can show you our dogs and I’m sure with the right training they could make a good fit.” He could feel Robert’s eyes on him as he showed him to the dog kennels. “I’d recommend looking for a dog that only looks dangerous, we never encourage using animals for anything that could possibly put them in danger, of course, and I’d really rather we avoid maiming my son if possible, but I doubt you’d-” he turned around when he got to the cage of a large Doberman but saw that Robert had stopped following him and was sitting on the concrete floor next to a smaller cage.

“What’s this one doing?”

Damien walked back over and kneeled beside him “Betsy’s just excited to see you,” he smiled as the small terrier pressed its face up against the glass in a way that pulled her lip up and showed her tiny teeth, making drool run down the glass as well as all over her face.

“Does she always do that?”

“Pretty often, unless you want me to say she only gets that excited for you,”

Robert laughed “think she’d keep Lucien from breaking into my liquor cabinets?”

“Considering he’s severely allergic to dogs, I think she’d do the trick.”

“Can you help me, ma’am? One of them just jumped out of the cage and I can’t catch them,” the woman said from behind them. 

Damien waited for a second to see if one of his female coworkers had come back from their breaks but when no one responded he stood up “no problem,” he put his hand on Robert’s shoulder “feel free to hang out with her, I’ll be back in a second,”

“Thanks, Damien. See you later, man,” he said, holding his fingers under the door of her kennel so that she could lick him. He was overdoing it a bit, sure, but Damien appreciated the effort. Damien kept up his friendly customer service worker front while he helped her wrangle the kitten she’d lost until he was able to return to helping Robert, who had by now taken Daisy out of her kennel and had her on his lap. “I'm sure she's half-blind or something” he offered.

Damien scratched Betsy’s ear “you’re sweet,”

“Me or her?”

Damien laughed and leaned over to kiss Robert’s cheek “both.”

  
  


They seemed to both decide to not bring up that interaction while Damien handed Betsy over to his boss so she could process Robert’s paperwork. Damien stayed out of the way and walked the other dogs while Robert filled out all the necessary forms and got the rundown of looking after her, he didn’t expect to see Robert again until he got done at the shelter but he ran into him again as he took out a new dog “hey, glad I caught you,” he said, his hands in his pockets.

“Everything going alright?” Damien asked, smiling in a way that he hoped hid that he was feeling incredibly awkward.

“Oh, yeah,” Robert grinned but covered his mouth with his sleeve “she’s just going to get checked out by the vet to make sure she’s all good to go. But, um, since you know so much about dogs and stuff,” he rubbed the back of his neck “would you mind coming over tonight to help make sure she’s got everything she needs?”

It was a terrible excuse, even Damien could see that, but he didn’t mind “I’d be happy to. I’ll see you tonight?

Robert nodded “I’ll see you tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so far ahead with this story it's insane, all my motivation lately has gone towards this fic but that's okay now because I'm on winter break. Leave some comments and kudos please so I know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

_ Mary: are you getting ready for your date tonight? _

_ Mary: ;) _

Damien rolled his eyes as he glanced at his phone while he got dressed.

_ It’s not a date. _

_ Mary: you’re getting ready, though. You don’t have to get ready for swinging by a friend’s house to make sure he has the right type of dog food. _

_ I simply have a much higher standard for my personal appearance. Not all of us can look so naturally perfect _

_ Mary: youre not off the hook on this. I want updates on how your date goes. Tell robby I say hi _

_ Will do _

Damien knocked on Robert’s door and quickly fixed his hair. He’d changed back into his regular formal clothes and put his contacts back in for his visit to Robert’s house. He realized that he’d never been inside Robert’s house which somehow made him even more anxious. Robert opened the door holding Betsy who was squirming to get free and barking.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Damien laughed and scratched her head “hello, Robert, it’s lovely to see you again.”

“You too, uh, make yourself at home” Robert closed the door behind Damien and then set Betsy down. She immediately ran to Damien’s feet and jumped, pawing at his shins. Damien hadn’t expected Robert’s house to be spotless but the level of mess was definitely more than could be made by a fifteen pound dog in a few hours.

“She seems to have settled in,” he said, leaning down to pet her.

“Oh, yeah, she’s doing great, can I get you something to drink?”

“Water would be lovely,” he said “I also have something for you,”

“Oh yeah?” Robert said as he got a glass of water for Damien in the kitchen.

Damien took a rubber dog toy out of his pocket “it’s nothing much, but I did snag her favourite toy.” 

“Oh, thanks,” Robert handed him the glass and took the toy “wan’it?” He held the toy out for Betsy and she jumped to grab it before running away with it “do you want to sit down?”

Damien smiled politely and sat with Robert on the couch “am I correct in assuming that your reasoning for inviting me over tonight is not purely about Betsy?”

Robert leaned back and put his arm up on the back of the couch “I wasn’t that obvious was I?”

“You do not seem like the kind of man who asks for help regularly, especially about issues you view as common sense or trivial.”

“Is that a compliment,”

Damien shrugged “just an observation, why did you actually ask me over?”

“I have something for you too, actually,” Robert leaned over to pick up a book from the coffee table. Damien noted how he didn’t technically answer the question but quickly forgot when Robert handed it to him.

_ Adder Lane: A Supernatural Thriller _

_ Based on a True Story _

_ Robert Small _

Damien smiled “thank you, I look forward to reading it.”

“It’s an older one but it’s the one I had an extra of laying around. I emailed my publisher to get a hold on some extra copies of my other books.”

“I would have bought them, Robert, you really don’t need to do that,” Damien set the book back down to retrieve later “but I appreciate it greatly, thank you.”

Robert picked up Daisy who was by that time scratching at the couch to be allowed up “don’t worry about it. So I guess you’re not a professional vampire impersonator?”

Damien laughed and moved closer to pet Daisy until their knees were touching “no, I’m afraid my day to day life is far less exciting than that. I work in IT.”

“I guess I know who to call when my internet goes out next then,”

“I’m happy to be of service, for the internet, I mean.”

Robert scoffed “yeah, yeah of course. So,” he drummed his fingers on the back of the couch and Damien realized that since he moved closer, Robert’s arm was getting close to being around him “do you enjoy it?”

“I thought you hated small talk?” Damien teased “what do you really want to ask me?”

“Lucien’s mom isn’t in the picture, is she?”

Damien hesitated as he searched for the right words “I have near-full custody. He sees his other father occasionally but he isn’t really interested in being a part of his life as of now.”

“He sounds like an asshole, sorry for assuming that - anyway, sorry he’s such a dick. You’re a really good dad, though.”

Damien smiled “it’s okay, and thank you, I do the best I can with him. Do you ever want kids?”

Something in Robert’s expression and Damien got the idea that this was a sensitive topic, that expression was enough to give Damien his answer “haven’t really thought about it.”

Damien stopped talking to pet Betsy, letting Robert steer the conversation back to something he was more comfortable with “does the stuff with that lady happen a lot?” Apparently where Robert was comfortable was where Damien was extremely uncomfortable.

“Me getting misgendered? It’s not very common anymore.”

“Why’s that?” Robert asked cluelessly.

“Just time, I suppose. Can we talk about something else?”

“Sorry, I just don’t get why - anyway, sorry.”

“Why what?” Damien asked, curiosity overtaking his desire to not talk about this topic anymore.

“Why someone would think just because you have long hair that you’re a woman,” Damien was glad they weren’t touching because he knew every muscle in his body was tense. He didn’t have an answer to that. Robert changed the topic then “so when did you get into the Victorian stuff?”

“Well, I’ve always loved history, I got a double minor in history and British literature in college and started collecting things around that point. Did you go to college?”

Robert shook his head “my family wasn’t really the higher education sort and college didn’t seem like my scene. I worked as a mechanic until my books got decent enough that I could do that full time.”

“I guess you can fix my car then if I’m fixing your internet.”

Robert smiled “I’d be happy to.”

Damien jumped when his phone vibrated “sorry,” he said, taking it out of his pocket “let me just make sure it’s not an emergency,”

_ Mary: how’s it going? _

Damien rolled his eyes and put the phone away again. “Mary?” Robert asked “Sorry to spy,”

“Yes, she can wait for now, though,”

“I don’t mind if you have to get back to her.”

“It’s really okay, she has, if you really want to know, decided that this is a date and wants near-constant updates.”

“I’m sure she does, she’s been trying to set me up with people ever since - well, how much do you know about Mary and I?”

Damien had a bad feeling about where this was going, he knew how Mary could be when it came to monogamy “very little besides that you are friends.”

“Well, as I’m sure you know, Mary and Joseph have a very complicated relationship, and I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of person who does this sort of thing,” Robert put Betsy down and leaned his head back, his adam's apple and collar bones even more prominent now than usual “but someone will tell you at some point and I'd rather you hear the full story, but Joseph and I had a thing, and Mary was fine with that for a while until Mary started to think that he was starting to have feelings for me so she asked me to back off.” He ran his fingers through his hair “and I did, I was fine with that, she just wants me to be dating someone so she doesn’t feel guilty about making us split up.”

Damien wasn’t surprised and that was a lot better than the scenarios he’d been anticipating “do you have feelings for him?”

Robert shook his head “I’m not a feelings sort of person, and he’s not my type anyway.”

“What is your type?” Damien asked, it sounded a lot more eager than he hoped it would.

Robert smirked “intellectual, adventurous, tall, not blonde.”

Damien laughed “that’s not what I would have expected from you,”

“What did you expect then?”

They were close enough that it was clear that Robert was purposely not touching Damien, who was working on not overthinking that “I don’t know…”

They were silent for a second before Robert cracked his knuckles anxiously and then spoke: “can I ask you something?”

Before Damien could say yes, Betsy started pawing at the door “god damn it,” Robert said, getting up quickly “I’m going to need to get a doggy door.” He said as he let her outside.

Damien straightened up and moved back to his own side of the couch “what did you want to ask?” he asked once Robert sat back down 

“Oh, it’s nothing, I forgot.”

Damien looked around the room for something to change the topic to “can I ask where you go when you disappear for so long?”

“Research for new books, guess I’ll be taking Betsy with me from now on.”

“She’ll like that.” Damien smiled and even though he meant it, something about his smile felt like a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos keep me motivated and make me happy!


	7. Chapter 7

Damien texted Mary back once he was back in his own bed. Damien didn’t know what he’d been expecting from that night, for Robert to ask him out or kiss him? To get down on one knee? But then what? Damien wasn’t the kind of person to have a one night stand anymore and he knew that Robert was a terrible match for him, he was impulsive, absent, usually drunk, and if Damien’s instincts were right, probably not looking for a long term relationship. Damien didn’t have the time or patience to deal with that right now but god damn, leaving was difficult.

_ Damien: Terribly sorry to disappoint you but nothing happened between Robert and I tonight _

He turned his phone on do not disturb so that he could shower and then go to bed without distractions from Mary or, an even more dangerous distraction, Robert. His phone didn’t come off do not disturb for several days while Damien decompressed, he did allow himself to begin reading Robert’s book, though. The writing style was very out of Damien’s comfort zone, he’d never usually pick up a thriller but Robert’s writing was rather enjoyable even if a little unnerving. Damien didn’t even notice how much time he’d invested until he came to the final chapter and saw that the sun was setting outside the window. Once he finished the book, he flipped to the back inside cover.

_ Robert Small is a self-taught writer and cryptozoologist from Granada, Spain. He has been writing for five years and tracking cryptids and urban legends for seven. He currently lives in Massachusetts with his wife, Marylin, and their teenage daughter. _

Damien reread the bio again and rested his chin on his hands, that was a lot of information to take in. He set the book down and finally checked his phone. There was a string of texts from an unknown number.

_ ?: I got your number from Mary so that I can stop using dadbook. _

_ ?: What’s up? _

_ ?: This is Robert _

Damien smiled and added the number to his contacts before texting back.

I must apologize for my late reply-I regret having to say that to you again, I hope that in the future, I can be a more reliable friend. My phone has been off for some time. I just finished your book, you’re a very talented author.

He didn’t expect a reply right away so he decided to start working on dinner until his phone buzzed again.

_ Robert: thanks. I think Betsy misses you. _

_ Robert: you should come drinking with us again _

_ Damien chuckled and set down the pan he was holding in order to reply. _

_Damien: While that does sound enjoyable, I do not think that giving Betsy alcohol is an advisable idea._

_ Robert: not Betsy and me, Mary and me _

_ Robert: actually I don’t want Mary there _

_ Robert: just come drinking with me _

_ Robert: tonight? _

_   
Damien:  I’m afraid the best I can do tonight is offer for you to come over. I’m watching hosting Ernest while Hugo is at a fundraiser. _

_ Robert: deal. I’m not babysitting, though. _

Damien decided that Robert would just come over when he felt like it so he got back to work on dinner. It wasn’t until they had eaten and Lucien and Ernest were watching action movies in Lucien’s room that Damien heard the knock on the door. Robert held up a bottle of wine when Damien opened the door “hey, Dames,”

Damien smiled and let him in “Hello, Robert, it is lovely to see you. The kids are hopefully settled, shall we go upstairs?”

Robert smiled and took off his jacket “sure, it’s your house, I’ll just follow you. I didn’t know your eyes were brown.”

Damien realized that in his rush to get dinner ready, make sure both boys ate, and then that they had a form of entertainment that would keep them from sneaking out, he hadn’t thought to get dressed up out of his casual clothes. He had on a black hoodie and sweatpants which he usually only wore as pajamas but today he hadn’t done much besides read and do work in bed so it was fitting.

“Oh, yes, I’m afraid I did not have much time today to get ready for guests,” that was a lie, he just hadn’t wanted to and then when he invited Robert over, he’d forgotten, Robert didn’t need to know that, though.

“You look good, don’t worry about it.”

Damien shook his head and smiled before taking the bottle from Robert and grabbing two wine glasses “has anyone ever told you that flattery will not get you everywhere?”

Robert followed Damien upstairs “actually, no, usually people tell me that I’m too brutally honest. I’m not going to say you look good if you don’t.”

Damien didn’t know how to reply to that so he just took Robert into a smaller sitting room that overlooked the garden “may I ask if something specific made you come here tonight?”

“Besides you inviting me? I just wanted to see you, I’m also trying to cut back on drinking alone.”

Damien poured him a glass of wine “is that so?”

“Trying to get myself together, someone made me realize that I’ve got something to work towards now.”

Damien sipped his own wine, it was clearly pretty cheap but he didn’t mind, he’d had far worse “I’m happy to help in any way I can.” Robert nodded but didn’t say anything or look at him so Damien felt the need to fill the silence “I finished your book, I found it very enjoyable.”

Robert smiled and looked back at him again “thanks, it’s not much, though.”

Damien sighed but decided he shouldn’t avoid the topic “may I ask a personal question?”

Robert eyed him warily “shoot,” he said eventually.

“Did you use a fake biography for your book?”

Robert fidgeted with the hem of his shirt “no, that one would have been old enough to have them in it, wouldn’t it?” Damien nodded, letting Robert continue. “My wife died a few years ago, my daughter and I haven’t talked much since.”

Damien moved closer but didn’t know much his presence was a comfort “I’m sorry, I should not have brought it up.”

Robert shook his head and finished his glass of wine “it’s fine, I should have checked to make sure I didn’t give you something that talked about it if I didn’t want you knowing.”

“I’m still sorry, I’m sure that’s been difficult.”

“Can I ask you something now?”

Damien nodded, glad that Robert hadn’t closed off “of course,”

“Would you ever consider dating again?”

Damien looked up at the ceiling “I would consider it… I haven’t dated anyone seriously since Lucien’s father left, dating can just be so much to deal with and it so rarely turn into anything, at this point in my life I wish there was a way to -”

“Skip the dating part?”

“Precisely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos! They make me happy and keep me motivated! Thanks for reading!  
Also, I hope there's no formatting issues but AO3 was being a pain to work with for some reason so...


	8. Chapter 8

“When you said that you had something to work towards now, what were you talking about?” Damien asked casually as he rinsed their wine glasses in the kitchen.

“You haven’t guessed? Here I was thinking you were the intellectual type.” Robert teased as he leaned against the doorframe.

“I would hate for my guess to make me sound narcissistic.” he turned to face the other man who smirked in response “will you do me a favour and put this away?” He handed Robert the unfinished wine bottle over the island “once I get this finished, we can return upstairs, I’d prefer a bit more separation from the boys tonight.”

Robert had to brush past Damien, briefly sweeping his hand over his back as he moved about the kitchen “sorry,” he muttered as he put the bottle away “it’s not narcissistic if you’re right.”

Damien usually felt uncomfortable with people touching him, especially men, but somehow Robert was an exception. He dried his hands and took Robert back upstairs again, Robert stopped him at the top of the stairs by holding his sleeve, Damien was relieved that he didn’t make any contact besides that, as much as he enjoyed Robert’s company, he still had his limits. “You know I don’t do this, don’t you?” Damien looked at him, his mouth open as he looked for words but Robert continued before he could find them “I don’t flirt and do this whole rom-com will-they-won’t-they gig,”

“What would you rather be doing then?” Damien asked, cautiously glancing at the floor below them to make sure Lucien and Ernest were still behind a closed door.

“I don’t know,” Robert breathed and took a step back “I’m not good at relationships but I don’t want this to be a one-night thing either.”

Damien couldn’t help but laugh softly “well luckily there’s no chance of this being a one-night thing because I have no plans on sleeping with you tonight, but I’m willing to see where this goes… as you’ve probably gathered, relationships have not been fruitful in the past for me either.”

“Can you just…” Robert took Damien into a random room which happened to be Damien’s painting room, luckily, he’d cleaned it that morning “can we stop talking about the future? I fucking hate talking about the future.”

Damien nodded and leaned against the table “as much as you hate small talk?”

Robert chuckled and closed the door behind them “almost.”

Damien crossed his ankles “so what’s your plan now?”

“That depends, can I kiss you?”

Damien pulled him over by the collar of his shirt and nodded. Even though they were close to the same height, Robert was a few inches taller than Damien with him leaning against the table when Damien pulled their faces together. Robert respectfully kept his hands on the table on either side of Damien, who had less self-control and immediately moved his hands to Robert’s shoulders. After a moment, Damien moved one hand up to Robert’s jaw and pulled away “you’re sure this is what you want?”

Robert pushed his hair back before putting his hand back on the table, “yeah, I want to give this a try. I don’t know if I can deal with being a dad again now but I want to see where this goes.”

Damien smiled “you don’t need to be that right now, just don’t run off or ghost me, as the kids say,”

Robert laughed “good one, do you want me to close the window?”

Damien glanced behind him to see the curtains still open “lord, thank you.” He closed the other curtains once Robert moved to close the window behind them “the last thing I need is Mary telling me that she told me so,”

“She’s never going to let you live that down,” Robert replied as he casually backed Damien against the wall.

“What gets you off the hook?”

“I never lied to her, I told her the first time I saw you that I wanted you.”

Damien tilted his head back and closed his eyes “I should know better than to hide anything from her, she’s always been terrible for this sort of thing.” He wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck, slightly more comfortable now that they were the same height again, and kissed him with more confidence than he’d had before. He ran his hand down Robert’s arm and felt his muscles tense under his hands until he moved Robert's hands off the wall and onto his waist instead. “You’re much more of a gentleman than you let on,” Damien mumbled, smiling.

“Don’t tell anyone that, I have a reputation to maintain” he pulled Damien’s hand to his leg which made Damien jump until he realized that what he was feeling was the outline of a sheathed knife in his pocket, which somehow made him feel better.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he moved his hand to Robert’s hip instead “it’s quite alright, though, I will tell you if you go too far.”

Robert shook his head “no, I want to know your boundaries ahead of time or I’m not going any further,”

Damien leaned against Robert and rested his chin on his shoulder “then I expect the same from you, let’s go somewhere more comfortable?” Robert let Damien take him into the bedroom instead “don’t get any ideas,” Damien said as he saw a smirk spread across Robert’s features “my first boundary is that I will not sleep with you when my son is home.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he said, the smirk still not vanishing as he sat with Damien on the bed “I’m all ears,” he kicked his shoes off and laid back, his shirt riding up to his ribs when he crossed his arms behind his head.

Damien scoffed and laid down on his side “don’t touch my chest or hold me down or grab me randomly,” he ran his fingers through Robert’s hair and smiled when the other man closed his eyes “ask before taking anything off me or doing anything new.”

Damien half expected a comment about not being allowed to grab him and hold him down whenever he wanted but instead Robert just nodded and opened one eye “got it.”

Damien kissed him again and was pleased to feel how Robert was still a tad cautious as he moved his hands to his hips. He didn’t move his hands when Damien pulled away “you’re terribly distracting. What are your conditions?”

“Don’t drink my blood without permission,” he paused to see if Damien would laugh and then continued “alright, fine… I don’t do pda and don’t bring up Marylin or my kid.”

Damien was glad that he opened up a bit more so he let the topic drop “when are you traveling next?”

Robert rolled onto his side and groaned softly “this weekend, I suppose I can’t convince you to come with me?”

Damien didn’t like the idea of Robert leaving in just a few days “unless you plan on taking Lucien as well and bribing his school to not count him absent, I will regretfully need to pass.”

Robert hummed “shame. Do you work from home then?”

Damien covered his mouth as he yawned “about half the time, I thought you hated small talk?”

“It’s not small talk if I’m trying to figure out when you’re home without Lucien,”

Damien slapped his arm gently “don’t get your hopes up, that’s not the  _ only _ thing keeping me from performing ungodly acts on you tonight.”

Robert grinned “what else?” he asked as he propped his head up on one elbow and pulled Damien closer.

“Truthfully, I am still making sure that I trust you.”

He expected Robert to get mad or protest but instead, he just shrugged “alright, makes sense, I wouldn’t trust me either.”

Damien realized that they were close enough that he could feel Robert’s knife against his leg “so why do you carry a knife around all the time?”

Robert pulled it out of his pocket “never know when you might need to stab something, I’ve got lots more where that came from.”

Damien scoffed “very scary, thanks for not stabbing me earlier, though.”

“I’d need a wooden stake to take you out if you were really a vampire, first of all.”

Damien sat up and took his glasses off as they were pressing into his temple uncomfortably “I’m fairly certain that stabbing me with a wooden stake would ‘take me out’ regardless of if I was a vampire or not.”

“Something else you’d rather be impaled by?”

Damien wrinkled his nose and pushed against Robert’s chest “you can be so childish sometimes. How late are you staying?”

Robert chuckled and ran his hand along Damien’s spine over his sweater “until you tell me to leave,” he sat up as well and kissed Damien without warning, pulling him almost onto his lap which caught Damien off guard but he relaxed as Robert lessened his grip until his hands were only resting on his back and his knee.

“That was rather sudden,” Damien observed, tilting his head back.

“I ran out of things to say,” Robert squeezed Damien’s knee reassuringly “you still good? I didn’t mean to move too suddenly without asking.”

“You only surprised me, dear, I’m quite alright, I’m afraid I do need to be at the office tomorrow so this can not go on all night.”

Robert huffed impatiently and kissed him again, Damien didn’t pull away this time and tangled his fingers into Robert’s hair. It was the doorbell ringing that made Damien jump back. “That must be Hugo, stay here.” He quickly put his glasses back on and fixed his hair in the mirror before going downstairs. “Good evening, Hugo,” he said politely as he opened the door “let me go let the boys know you’re here. How was your event?”

Hugo shrugged and looked around as Damien knocked on Lucien’s door “uneventful, you’re a lifesaver for taking him, he usually gets so upset if I leave him with anyone. This is a beautiful home, Damien.”

Damien thanked him and smiled as Ernest came out with his backpack. Damien was relieved to see that they were both in the room, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure they wouldn’t sneak out again. Lucien went back to his movie once he said goodbye to his friend and once Damien showed them out, he relocked the door and returned upstairs. Robert had stretched out on the bed again, he set his phone down when he heard the door open. Damien locked it behind him before climbing back on top of Robert and straddling his hips to kiss him comfortably. Robert smiled into the kiss and ran his hands up Damien’s thighs to his hips “you’re a tease,” he huffed after a few minutes before wrapping Damien’s hair around his hand so it stopped falling into his face.

Damien sat up and shook his hair loose so that he could put it up, though he’d admit privately that he didn’t mind Robert holding his hair like that.

“What are you doing?” Robert asked, one hand still holding Damien’s hip tight enough that Damien got the idea that he really didn’t want him moving.

“This is still acceptable?”

Robert laughed and patted Damien’s thigh with his other hand “holy shit, yeah, this is great. I didn’t think you’d be like this is all.”

“I told you I was rather wild in college, I suppose I haven’t changed as much as I thought.”

“Still got a little wild in you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome. This fic is still far from done, though, because I don't have the heart to stop writing fluff for these two. Subscribe to see future chapters of teeth-rottingly sweet interactions between our boys. Also leave me a comment or kudos to let me know if you're liking it! They keep me motivated and make me smile!


	9. Chapter 9

“Still got a little wild in you?”

Damien laughed and leaned back, admiring the man below him “not as much as you’d probably like but I’ll let you be the judge of that.”

“Show me.”

Damien smiled and leaned down to kiss him again “I’m sure lines like that work well for you usually?”

“I do alright,”

“Sadly, there’s not too many lines like that that I haven’t heard before, I appreciate the effort, though.” Damien brushed Robert’s hair out of his face and kissed him again before rolling off of him.

“And I thought I was doing so well,” Robert ran his thumb over the top button of Damien’s shirt.

Damien held Robert’s wrist to make sure he didn’t go any further “oh trust me,” he laughed even though he was on the edge of feeling anxious “you’re doing plenty well. You’ve gotten a lot farther than anyone else recently.”

“When was the last time you were with anyone, if that’s not too personal?”

Damien closed his eyes and rolled onto his back “truthfully… I have not had a relationship since I split with Lucien’s father probably… lord, fifteen years ago.”

“He’s that much of a handful?”

“Among other reasons.”

“Can I ask what those are?” Robert sounded hesitant.

Damien raised an eyebrow and looked at him “is it a good idea for me to tell you the reason why so few people want to date me?”

“There’s no way that’s true, you’re a bit of a catch,”

Damien smiled “you’re very kind.” He stifled a yawn “I hate to ask you to leave but I’m…”

Robert kissed him quickly before sitting up “it’s fine. I’ll see you around?”

Damien sat up as well and pulled Robert closer again by his collar “hold on, you don’t need to run out quite yet.” He kissed him again and while he really wanted to lay back down or climb onto Robert’s lap, he eventually let him go. It was late. “You’ll be back after this weekend?”

Robert nodded and stood up “yeah, around then, I’ll text you, or just show up or something.”

“You’re always welcome,” Damien let his hair down again and fixed his collar “I look forward to seeing you again.” Damien glanced to make sure his son’s door was closed before taking Robert downstairs “I really do hate to be so wearisome tonight,”

They stopped at the front door “don’t worry about it, I don’t want you to use up all your sick days yet, you’ll need those for later. Can I kiss you before I go?”

Damien glanced behind him again before pulling Robert down by the back of his neck. He pulled away when his paranoia got the better of him “go before I ask you to stay the night,”

Robert chuckled and threw his jacket over his shoulders before slipping out the door “catch you later, Dames,”

  
  


Damien spent that weekend getting ahead on work and finishing another oil painting. Lucien spent most of the weekend at Ernest’s until Sunday night. Lucien knocked on the door of Damien’s office before entering sheepishly. Damien took off his headphones and looked up “is everything alright, Lucien?” He asked worriedly.

“Yeah, it’s fine, can I talk to you?”

Damien turned off his monitor and took off his glasses “of course. You can tell me anything.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, dad, really. Just, some friends from back home wanted to know if I could stay with them for a week during Christmas break so we could catch back up. Is that okay?”

Damien pursed his lips “over Christmas?”

Lucien shook his head “not for Christmas, the week before, I’d be back by the 23rd, I’ve even got a ride and everything, and it’s just Kaleb and Jessie so you even know them. Would that be okay?”

Damien smiled “of course that’s okay. I know you miss them.”

Lucien grinned and hugged him “thank you so much. I’ll text them back now. Thanks, dad.” He got up and left the room again, phone in hand and headphones back on. Damien smiled as he returned to his work. Lucien was growing more and more independent by the day. It seemed so recently that he was still nervous to sleep anywhere besides home or go to the movies without an adult there now to buy him a ticket but now it seemed like he barely needed Damien around. He knew it wouldn't be long before he was getting ready to move out and start his own life, and then what did Damien have left? He'd admit that he let parenting take over his life a bit, but what choice did he have? Being a single father was a lot of work especially for a child as needy as Lucien had been. He couldn't imagine what life would be like without looking after him, he didn't have long until he found out, though.

  
  


December was a busy time for Damien, he loved decorating for Christmas even if he wasn’t devoutly religious, he greatly enjoyed the aesthetic. He recognized that most Christmas decorations weren’t very Victorian but he couldn’t help himself but hang garland and LED lights from every available surface in the house. The decoration process for a house the size of his took several days, especially with the house being new and entirely new plans having to be made for how to decorate. Lucien agreed to go pick out a Christmas tree with him after school that Monday so long as they could bring Ernest, which Damien didn’t mind, that was a very small price for his son’s company.

“Please don’t throw things while I’m drying, boys,” Damien said calmly. He didn’t show off his money too often but he did have a very nice car and he’d like to keep it that way, he’d also like to avoid crashing because he took a shoe to the head that was meant for Ernest. “You can rough-house once we park.” It had snowed for the first time that year the night before which would hopefully keep them entertained for a while. He glanced at the GPS on the dashboard and let his mind wander to what Robert was doing right about now as he waited at a red light. He knew he was researching a new book, something with cryptids, though he had no idea what that entailed. He wondered if that was dangerous. His thoughts were cut off by the light turning green and having to return his attention to driving again. 

Damien pulled his coat tighter around himself as he got out and fretted over how few layers the boys were wearing. He shook his head and smiled as they immediately bolted over the fence into the tree farm to begin their snowball fight. Damien leaned against the hood of his car while he kept an eye on them, when he got too cold or bored he’d tell them to hurry up and pick a tree. He was more than happy to let the boys pick the tree, he was just happy that he got some time with Lucien. He almost didn’t notice due to all his layers when his phone buzzed in his coat pocket.

_ Robert: baby its cold outside _

While Damien was considering how to reply to that when another text came in. There was a photo of Besty standing on her hind legs with her head out the window of Robert’s truck. She was clearly enjoying their little road trip.

_ Robert: Driving home now. Should be home by midnight. When can I see you? _

Damien had made sure that the boys were still where he could see them before texting back.

_ I’m working from home tomorrow. You could visit so long as you also give me time to get some work done. I would prefer to keep my job. _

Robert didn’t reply for a while which Damien didn’t mind since he was likely driving, he did put his phone into his pants pocket instead this time just to make sure he didn’t miss anything, though. He let the boys play for a while until Lucien had Ernest’s face pinned into the snow long enough that Damien was worried he’d lose something to frostbite or suffocate. “Alright, boys, let’s pick one before I need to get Earnest home for dinner.” To Damien’s relief, Lucien let go of the other boy’s head and he popped back out of the snow, laughing. He didn’t want to explain to Hugo that his son had lost his nose to frostbite because his own son was a better snowball fighter.

Lucien picked out a tree that was nearly fifteen feet tall. It was an extra fee to get it delivered but there was no way Damien was getting that onto his car and it would look nice in the main room by the fireplace… Damien was easily talked into expensive decisions if they involved interior design improvements.

Once Damien dropped Ernest off, he spent the rest of the day decorating the house with Lucien - and then once Lucien got bored, on his own - until the tree was delivered and Lucien rejoined him for the decoration of that. It was an impressive feat that involved a lot of strings of lights and garland and a ladder but the house looked stunning afterwards, even Lucien admitted that so it was definitely true. They ordered pizza that night, Damien not having the energy to cook after such a long day. It was while he was taking the recycling out that night that he felt his phone buzz again.

_ Robert: ahead of schedule. What are you doing tonight? _

Damien checked his watch, it was 10:30 but… what the hell, he wasn’t going in to the office tomorrow.

_ I have no commitments tonight. I assume you have a plan for us? _

He returned back inside to the warmth. Lucien was sitting in the living room FaceTiming a friend from Boston. “I might have someone coming over in a few minutes, I hope that is okay with you?”

Lucien looked up and took one airpod out “huh? Oh, yeah, cool. Robert?”

Damien glanced at him briefly before returning to picking up dishes from the table “why do you say that?”

Lucien shrugged and put his airpod back in. Damien sighed before taking the dishes into the kitchen. He jumped and almost dropped the plate he was washing when he heard someone honk outside. He pulled the curtain to the side but couldn’t make out anything more than headlights. He looked at his phone on the counter and saw several new notifications.

_ Robert: come outside _

_ Robert: now _

_ Robert: im getting impatient _

_ Robert: im going to honk _

_ Robert: i swear to god ill do it _

Damien dried his hands before throwing on a light coat to walk outside. “You’re going to wake up the whole neighborhood.”

Robert rolled down the window “you weren’t replying.”

“Well I’m here.” In anyone else, Damien would find behavior like that annoying but that goofy smile was too much sometimes. It was a little charming anyway.

“Get in. I want to take you somewhere.”

Damien pulled his coat tighter around himself and wished he was wearing a thicker one “let me go change into something warmer.”

“No time. I’ll crank the heat and I’ve got a hoodie in the back.”

Damien, against his better judgment, got into Robert’s passenger seat and texted Lucien to lock up and not to wait for him. “Alright, now where are you taking me?” He asked as Robert pulled out of the neighborhood.

“Somewhere special.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me a comment and kudos to let me know what you think!  
I swear there are still some plot points to come and it's not just fluff but like... it's a lot of fluff, I hope that's y'all's thing because it's definitely mine.


	10. Chapter 10

Damien looked out the window and watched the neighborhoods turn into businesses and then wilderness. He glanced at the clock in time to catch it flick from 10:59 to 11:00. “Robert?” He asked, shifting slightly.

“Relax, I’m only harvesting your nonvital organs.”

Damien smiled and shook his head “I’ve got a few you can have, I would even pay you for it.” The joke flew over Robert’s head apparently as he gave Damien an odd glance. He wasn’t explaining that to him tonight. “So how was your trip?”

“Uneventful. I was looking into some sightings in Maine but we didn’t find much. Betsy enjoyed her first ghost hunt, though.”

Damien smiled and relaxed a bit now that they were talking. “You had a much more eventful weekend than I did then. Are we looking for ghosts tonight?”

Robert’s expression didn’t seem jestful but then again his brand of dry humor rarely made him seem like he was joking “I don’t plan to, but I’m sure it’s looking for us.”

“Are you planning to scare me so you can comfort me later?”

Robert glanced at him “that is a good plan but far too easy. I could manipulate you into being all over me easily, but where’s the fun in that?” Damien scoffed at Robert’s cockiness but didn’t complain about his hand coming to rest just above his knee. “We’re almost there.”

“You know this area pretty well then?” Damien asked, watching the seemingly indistinguishable trees pass. They were off the main roads now, it had been quite some time since another car had passed.

“Oh yeah, I used to hunt in these woods.” He pulled the truck over onto an overlook and Damien could see why Robert had chosen this spot. It was completely empty but the lights of the city shone below them. “Come on,” Robert squeezed Damien’s thigh before handing him a thick hoodie that smelled like Robert’s cologne and cigarettes. Damien put it on as soon as he was outside. It was snowing again now. Robert climbed into the bed of the truck. Damien followed him and instinctively moved close to him.

Robert put an arm around him and Damien hummed “I should congratulate you. This is a rather genius plan - bringing me out when it’s freezing so I’ll need to wear your sweater and cuddle with you to not get hypothermia, very charming.”

Rober glanced at him “are you mad?”

Damien laughed “no, no, I hope I didn’t sound upset.” He rested his head on Robert’s shoulder and watched the city below them “it’s beautiful.”

Damien could feel Robert’s breath hot against his hair as he spoke “yeah, it is. It’s a lot nicer having company.”

“You come out here on your own?”

“This is my thinking spot.”

“Seems dangerous,” Damien observed, turning to scan the dark forest behind him.

Robert stroked his hair and hushed him before taking a knife out of his pocket “don’t worry, I don’t come completely unprepared.”

Damien chuckled and laid his head back down again “you really do relish in any opportunity to show those off, do you not?”

“Just trying to let you rest a little easier is all.”

Damien watched Robert pick up a branch from the bed of the truck and begin whittling it, his arm never leaving its place around Damien’s shoulders. Damien watched him for a few minutes before closing his eyes and relaxing. He could feel Robert’s arm tensing and shifting around him as he worked and could hear Robert’s heart beating. It didn’t seem nearly so cold anymore.

Damien was half-asleep when Robert spoke again “so you said that there were other reasons why you hadn’t dated since Lucien’s other dad, can I ask what those are?”

Damien sighed and stretched his legs out “a… a lot of men are not interested in men such as myself, or are far too interested.”

“What does that mean?”

Damien watched Robert’s hands instead of his face “they either see it as a turn off or as a fetish. Generally, people see it in some way like I’m tricking them or something from pornography and it just makes the dating scene very frustrating.”

“I’m confused. See what as a… am I missing something?”

Damien moved back and looked at Robert, realizing that he really didn’t know. There was a moment where he let himself picture scenarios of Robert breaking up with him on the spot and how awkward the car ride back would be or worse if he would tell him to call an Uber and drive back on his own, he pushed those thoughts away, though, he had to tell him at some point. “I’m trans, Robert. Fuck," he breathed, "I thought you knew.”

Robert blinked at him for a second and Damien felt like he really wished he would have lied for a moment or given him another vague non-answer. “That explains a lot…” Robert muttered “it doesn’t change anything, though, I’m sorry you’ve had such rotten luck with guys in the past,”

Damien clenched his jaw to keep from grinning like an idiot. Mere acceptance shouldn’t make him so happy but with his previous history, it did. “You’re sure it’s not a big deal for you?”

“I mean, it answers some questions I had, but no. You’re still the same man. I’m glad you told me, though.”

“What kind of questions?”

“Well you said that you and Mary lived together in college but Mary lived in a sorority house so that clears that up,”

Damien laughed “yes, I suppose that would be confusing. I was not out until after Lucien was born so we were in the same sorority until I got pregnant.”

Robert covered his mouth with his fingers contemplatively “holy shit. So Lucien is like…  _ yours _ yours. That’s impressive, man.”

Damien wasn’t sure how to respond to any of this so instead he just pulled his knees up to his chin and smiled “I really thought you knew, I’m sorry, I’m sure a lot of what I’ve said hasn’t made sense.”

“It’s fine, don’t apologize. You don’t owe it to me to say anything about it if you don’t want to.”

Damien leaned closer again and kissed him “I know that this should be the norm but I’m still grateful, thank you.”

Robert kissed his hair and pulled him closer “of course. If I ever ask a stupid question or anything just, I dunno, hit me.”

Damien laughed and settled between Robert’s legs with his head on his chest again “only if you deserve it. I’ll allow a few stupid questions so long as you’re respectful. Any you need to get out of the way now?”

Robert shook his head and rested his chin of Damien’s head, both arms around him now. Robert didn’t wake him up when he fell asleep this time.

  
  


Damien was startled when he awoke in a bed that wasn’t his. As he glanced around he could see through the doorway into the living room that he was in Robert’s house. He tried to catch his breath and couldn’t which only made him worry more until he realized that he’d slept in his binder which, while not good, at least explained the pain in his chest and why he couldn’t breathe properly. He looked up when there was a knock on the door.

“I made coffee. Everything okay?” Robert said, concern obvious on his face “don’t worry, I slept on the couch. I went to take you home but the door was locked and I-”

Damien smiled and shook his head to stop him “it’s okay, Robert, thank you. I asked Lucien to lock the door once he went to bed. I just didn’t know where I was for a minute and it’s always hard to breathe when I wear my binder overnight.”

“Isn’t that bad for you?” Robert handed Damien a coffee mug and sat beside him on the bed.

“I’ll take it off once I get home. Just let me wake up and I’ll get out of your way.” He sipped his coffee before setting it down to stretch as much as he could in a dress shirt.

“It’s no worry, you can stay as long as you need, and if you need to take it off, I can leave if that makes you more comfortable.”

Damien shifted to sit cross-legged “it’s not that bad, really. Thank you.”

“For what? Not leaving you on the side of the road when your door was locked?”

Damien laughed, which made his chest hurt more but he tried to ignore it “for letting me stay just so you didn’t have to wake me up. You could have easily gotten me up so I could let myself in. Also for sleeping on the couch, that was very thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t mention it. I didn’t want you to worry I’d- anyway, it’s not a problem.” He got up when Betsy started pawing at the door “give me a second.”

While Robert was gone, Damien finished his coffee and got up to adjust his clothes. He put his cloak and coat back on before meeting Robert in the living room “I am still free all day in you wanted to visit in a few hours once I can get some work done, I hope that does not sound too desperate.”

Robert picked up Betsy who was squirming to see Damien until he reached out to pet her “I need to get a draft to my publisher today but if I finish that, yeah, I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I loved this chapter so I hope you do too! Leave me some comments and kudos to let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some relatively detailed description of surgery in this chapter so be aware of that if that's something that freaks you out

Damien thanked Robert again and put his shoes back on before taking his keys out of his pocket. He was thankful that Lucien had already left for school and none of the neighbors were out because he knew he looked like a mess. His hair was messy, his makeup was smudged, and his eyes red from sleeping with his contacts in. Once he got his contacts out and changed into more comfortable clothes, he started his to-do list for that day, he wanted as much of his afternoon open as possible. When his doorbell rang, he was not 100% finished with everything he wanted to do but he had at least finished what he needed for tomorrow. “The door is unlocked!” He called loud enough that Robert should have been able to hear him from the cracked window as he went into the bathroom to check his appearance. He wasn’t able to wear contacts or a binder, meaning he was not entirely pleased with his appearance. Without a binder, he did not want to wear anything form-fitting so he’d instead settled on an oversized sweater over his regular black dress pants. He took his hair down and jumped when he saw Robert appear in the mirror behind him. He spun around and smiled.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you,”

Damien kissed his cheek and then slid the window shut “it’s alright, I guess I’m a little on edge today. Would you like to sit down?”

“Sure,” Robert let Damien take him into the living room “you really go all out for Christmas, huh?” he observed, looking around the perfectly decorated house and the large tree.

Damien smiled as he knelt to light the fireplace “I suppose I get carried away.”

Robert sat on the couch “it’s cool,” he ran his fingers through Damien’s hair once he sat down next to him “you sure everything’s okay?”

Damien tilted his head into Robert’s hand before crossing his legs “please, disregard how irrational I’m acting today. I’m having a rather unfavourable day and I could use a distraction.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Damien leaned back against the arm of the couch “I didn’t take you for the kind of man who likes talking about feelings.”

“You’re deflecting.”

Damien smiled and closed his eyes, Robert wasn’t supposed to know him well enough to see through things like that yet “I just need something to get my mind off of it right now. I recognize on a rational level that things between us are fine but that is not providing me with much peace at the moment.”

“About last night?”

“Yes.” Damien sighed and rubbed his face, he didn’t like being so emotional around Robert but he also knew it was no use hiding it or lying.

“If there’s anything I can do to make you feel less dysphoric, please let me know.”

Damien glanced at him and smiled “thank you. Did Mary give you that line?”

Robert drummed his fingers on the back of the couch “no, I -” he hesitated “I did some research. I hope that’s not too creepy.”

Damien hugged him “it’s not. It’s sweet. I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect that -” he smiled and pressed his face into Robert’s neck “thank you.”

“You shouldn’t have to be constantly explaining things to me, I’m doing my best to make sure I’m making you comfortable.”

Damien shifted back so that he could see Robert, running his thumb over the stubble, which was getting close to being a beard, on his jawline “you don’t need to do that, you’re doing just fine, I really don’t want any of this to change things.”

“It hasn’t changed how I feel about you or how I see you but I… I just want to make sure I’m saying the right things.”

“You are,” he had more he wanted to say but didn’t have the words so instead he just kissed him and tangled his fingers into his hair. Robert’s arms wrapped around his waist as he kissed back. Damien’s mind finally settled, Robert really was a fantastic distraction. He jumped when Robert turned his attention to kissing his neck instead “do  _ not _ give me a hickey where I can not cover it,”

Robert smiled and lifted his head “I’ll bear that in mind.” The implication that coverable marks were not out of the picture was clearly not lost on Robert but Damien’s attire didn’t leave much exposed skin, he was respectful enough to not try and move any clothing, which Damien appreciated. “You still okay?”   
  


Damien nodded and ran his hand up Robert’s arm which was still tight around his waist “yes. Are you?”

Robert hummed “I don’t know how you’ve made me into such a sap. A month ago, I never would have done any of this when I could just as easily find a one night stand but you’re so worth the effort. You’re some kind of special, you know that?”

Damien laughed “if I am to be honest, a month ago I never would have pictured you behaving like this. I wish you let other people see this side of you. You’re a good man, Robert.”

“Don’t go telling people that. Speaking of which, does Mary know yet?” He returned to kissing Damien’s neck.

“N…” Damien squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw for a second to center his thoughts “not yet. Well, I have not told her, at the very least, that says little for whether she has confirmed her suspicions.”

Robert was clearly encouraged by Damien’s lack of self-control, his grip tightening for a second before he let go of Damien and pushed his hair off of his forehead. Damien shifted slightly, impatient, but let Robert catch his breath. “Can I get you anything? I’m afraid I’ve been an atrocious host.”

Robert raised an eyebrow “no, trust me, you’ve been very gracious. If there’s anything I can do to make this better for you, just let me know.”

Damien shook his head and took one of Robert’s hands “you’re making a superb distraction,” he muttered before kissing him again. He allowed Robert to shift him onto his lap so that he was straddling his hips. Robert deepened the kiss and moved his hand under Damien’s sweater but only as far as his ribs. Damien was hyper-aware of Robert’s hand placement but not entirely unhappy with it, Robert seemed careful to not move any higher than that. Damien eventually pulled away and subtly moved Robert’s hand lower again.

“Sorry, got caught up in everything,” Robert said, shifting slightly under Damien in a way that wasn’t making him feel much calmer.

“It’s alright, this is just a lot right now.”

“We can stop if you want.”

“Just give me a minute, please?”

Robert took his hands off Damien, moving one onto the back of the couch and the other to hold Damien’s hand “take as long as you need. I’m not in any rush.

Damien closed his eyes for a moment, letting the overstimulated feeling pass. “I apologize, I think I am alright now.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Robert squeezed his hand “are you sure you’re good? We could just hang out for a while if you want, watch a movie or something?”

Damien rubbed the back of his neck “that sounds nice. Thank you. We could use the television in my room.”

Robert helped Damien get off of him and kissed him quickly “doesn’t that throw off the Victorian theme a bit?”

Damien took him upstairs and into his room “I occasionally have to make sacrifices but I do my best to blend it in as much as I can.”

The television was hidden behind a curtain that Damien pulled back. He picked up the remote and curled up in bed beside Robert, who had already laid down. Robert wrapped his arm around Damien’s shoulder “was there anything I did that freaked you out earlier?”

Damien shook his head “no, I promise. I’m just not ready for where that was going yet. While I hate to inflate your ego any more, I must confess that everything you did was lovely.”

Robert chuckled and kissed Damien, taking the remote from him and moving it to the side so that he could intertwine their fingers. Damien had relaxed now and didn’t mind when Robert shifted to be close to on top of him. He moved his hands to rest on Robert’s hips and smiled against his mouth. Damien bent one knee and shifted closer before realizing what he was doing and urging his body to stop making decisions that he’s regret but despite that, he couldn’t help himself. He pulled Robert closer under he was fully on top of him, Robert shifted to give him more space until Damien broke the kiss and shook his head slightly “I’m doing okay.”

“Good,” Robert smiled and kissed his collarbone “you’re handsome when you’re desperate.”

Damien closed his eyes and carded his fingers through Robert’s hair “I do not recall saying I was desperate at any point,”

Robert glanced up at him “do you want to take this off?” He pulled gently on the collar of Damien’s sweater.

Damien really did consider it for a minute which was rather impressive before he sighed “next time. I want to be wearing my binder.”

“What happens if you wear it for too long anyway?”

“It hurts my ribs and makes it hard to breathe.”

“Can I ask a personal question?” Robert shifted off Damien but kept his hand where it was to run his thumb over the curve of Damien’s jaw.

“You’re welcome to ask whatever you’d like, I may not answer, though.”

“Of course. Why not get surgery if it bugs you that much?”

Damien sighed “I used to want to. I suppose I’ve simply gotten used to it, I haven’t had a situation where I fell asleep without being able to change in quite some time. After my first surgery, I decided that if it was something I could hide without surgery I’d rather do that. Recovering from that was difficult enough.”

“You’ve had another surgery?”

“I regret to inform you that I am not naturally six feet tall. I had limb lengthening surgery a few years after I came out.”

Robert glanced over him and nodded “how does that even work?”

“Do you really want to know?” Damien didn’t love thinking about how painful that recovery had been.

“If you want to tell me, I’ll listen.”

Damien pulled one leg up and pointed to the midpoint of his shin “so they broke my leg here,” he moved his hand to the midpoint of his thigh “and then here,” he stretched his legs out and grimaced for a second at the memory “and then as it heals, they move the bones farther and farther apart so they create more bone.”

Robert pursed his lips “sounds painful.”

“Once they took me off painkillers, it was rather uncomfortable.”

“Do you regret it?”   
  


Damien smiled and shook his head “no, it’s a lot harder to pass at 5’7. I’m glad I got that one, there wasn’t much I could do to hide my height but I would much rather wear a binder than go through that again, personally.”

“That makes sense.” He was silent for a moment “do you still want to watch a movie or?...”

Damien chuckled and leaned closer again to kiss him instead. Robert took that as a perfectly sufficient answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know where this story is going anymore? Only partially, but that's okay, we can all just enjoy the ride.  
Leave me a comment to let me know what you're thinking of this fic!


	12. Chapter 12

Damien sat up abruptly from where he had been laying with his head on Robert’s chest when he heard the front door open. “Lucien? Is that you, love?”

“Yeah it’s just me, dad,” Lucien called from downstairs and Damien laid back down, sliding one hand to Robert’s stomach.

“Should I go?” Robert asked.

“Only if you wish to. Lucien is usually rather reclusive so I doubt he will come up at any point.”

“You’ll need to kick me out at some point so I can feed Betsy,” Robert chuckled and kissed the top of Damien’s head “I don’t have the self-control to make myself move,”

Damien smiled “you’re very charming, though I do wonder how you've survived on your own this long if you are usually this unable to make yourself function.”

“Sorry, I should check that,” Robert said as his phone buzzed beside them. Damien didn’t mind, putting his head back down and closing his eyes. He had a record on for background noise and being in bed cuddling with Robert was very relaxing. He pulled the blankets over himself and yawned, he could get used to having Robert over more often on a casual basis. He wasn’t tired enough to not notice the change in Robert’s body language as his hand, which had been previously rubbing Damien’s hip, moved to his phone.

“Is everything okay?”

Robert rubbed his forehead and hummed, his lips pursed “it’s my daughter,”

Damien sat up, concerned “did something happen?” He knew that Robert wasn’t close with his daughter but he also knew that a part of him still cared for her with how he couldn’t stand talking about her.

“I texted her when I saw you and Lucien and I realized how shitty a dad I’ve been, I didn’t expect her to text back, though,”

Damien wasn’t sure how to appropriately react without knowing the context of the conversation but he did his best to be supportive “that’s good, is it not?”

Robert sat up as well “yeah, it’s good. She asked if we could get a drink sometime. It’s been… fuck, years since we talked.”

“I’m sure she’ll forgive you when she sees how caring you are really, you were just going through a lot then.”

Robert shook his head “you didn’t know me then, I wasn’t just not dad of the year, I pretty much ignored her for a year and then when she turned eighteen, she disappeared off the face of the earth which is understandable after how little I did for her and how shitty I made her feel but then I never tried to reach out or make sure she was okay. She probably thinks I still hate her.”

Damien kissed the corner of Robert’s lips “stop… you can not change what you did then, all you can do is make amends and hating yourself will not help you accomplish that.”

“How do I make up for years of making her think she was worthless?”

Damien wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck and sighed “I don’t know,” he said honestly “but this is a good first step.” Damien held him for a while, stroking his hair reassuringly until he felt Robert relaxing slightly. “Do you want some time alone to talk with her?”

Robert shook his head “no, I don’t-” he looked away “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Damien nodded and let go of Robert so he could sit back and look at him “okay, I understand.”

Robert ran his fingers through his hair and put his head in his hands “I fucked up so badly, I really don’t feel like I deserve any of this, drinking myself to death in shitty bars seems a lot more fitting,”

Damien pursed his lips and rubbed the back of Robert’s neck “you deserve to be happy. I wish I could fix this for you but I do not know how. I will say that you’re still a better father than many because you want to change your behavior. You apologized, that’s more than - a lot of people get, I’m sure she knows that.”

Robert looked away so as to hide him wiping his eyes on his sleeve “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to - I didn’t think that your-”

Damien cut him off and shushed him “it’s okay, it’s been a long time. You don’t need to compare your experiences as if there is some sort of misery hierarchy, you are allowed to be upset regardless of where your experiences stand in comparison to others,”

“You sure you’re not a therapist or something?” Rober chuckled and leaned against Damien who immediately wrapped his arms back around him “I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I just really didn’t expect to hear from her.”

“I understand. You have nothing to apologize for. When are you seeing her?”

Robert pulled Damien closer by his hips “tonight,”

Damien grinned “Rob! That’s great! We must get you ready!”

Robert groaned “don’t you dare, I am perfectly capable of getting myself dressed,”

Damien attempted to brush back Robert’s untamed hair with his fingers and pouted “she’ll really appreciate if you put in effort to see her, it shows that you’re trying.”

“I don’t think it’s that deep, Dames,”

“Trust me,” Damien stood up “I know how girls think, especially when it comes to men, I was a girl for quite some time, after all.”

Robert gave up and let Damien pull him into the bathroom “shouldn’t you not say things like that?”

Damien laughed “I can misgender myself for comedic purposes, no one else can.” He took out a comb and more products than Robert even knew existed for hair (he really thought it was shampoo, conditioner, gel if you were pretentious.)

“I guess that makes sense,” Robert said, watching Damien as he combed through his hair, jumping a bit when he sprayed his hair with water.

“Sorry, I should have warned you. Well, I suppose I know that I don’t see myself as ever being female so I can joke about it but should anyone else, I wouldn’t know for sure that they were being completely fictitious.” Robert nodded, only for Damien to hold his chin “I’m going to pull if you move,” he scolded as he combed through Robert’s hair, which was curling due to the moisture. 

Robert rolled his eyes but let himself be pampered “you’ve got quite a grip there, Bloodmarch, mind letting go before you bruise my jaw?” 

Damien bit the tip of his tongue as he worked and stayed silent but let his grip loosen. He chuckled as Robert opened and closed his jaw like he was testing for permanent damage “you’re being melodramatic, my love,”

“Oh yeah,  _ I’m  _ the dramatic one.”

Damien ran his hands over Robert’s shoulders “you cannot stay in these clothes,”

Robert huffed in annoyance “that means me going home.”

Damien smiled and crossed to his closet “only if I can’t find a shirt here that fits you, do you even own any dress clothes?. Your jeans are fine for simply going to a bar, but your shirt is threadbare to the point where I fear a gust of wind will tear it. Try this,” he said, pulling out an off-white linen shirt.

Robert rolled his eyes and pulled his t-shirt and wrapped his arms around Damien’s waist “sure this wasn’t just a ploy to get me shirtless?”

Damien chuckled and set the shirt down on his dresser before kissing Robert “would it really take this much effort on my behalf to get you undressed? I had planned on simply asking politely.”

Robert sat back down on the bed and let Damien climb back onto his lap before he kissed him. This time Damien didn’t pull away to speak for much longer, long enough for him to explore Robert’s chest and arms before coming to rest at the juncture between his shoulders and neck. Robert pulled Damien closer by his hips, cautiously grinding up into Damien. Damien gasped softly and lifted himself back off Robert “not right now, you have somewhere to be and you still need to shave.”

Robert let Damien pull him into the bathroom again and sighed “would you have let me keep going if I was staying longer?”

Damien handed him a razor and shaving cream “I suppose we’ll never know, will we?”

  
  


_ Robert: night went well. I wish I could do more for her but she accepted my apology. Thanks for all your help. I told her about you, I hope you don’t mind. Anyway, thanks again. _

Damien read the text once he’d gotten into the office but found himself rereading it once he was home again. They’d been seeing each other… only just over a week in reality but it felt much longer than that with the amount of time they were spending together. Maybe it was just how long he'd been on his own but he felt closer to Robert than he had to people he'd known for months. At what point did he tell Lucien? At what point did he tell Mary? Did he tell Lucien’s father? Would he want to know? Would he care? Did he tell his parents? Would they care? Damien feared that he knew the answer to the last question already. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before putting them back on to continue trying to read the novel he’d been staring at for the past fifteen minutes. If Robert’s daughter knew, was it fair to keep it from Lucien? His mind was wandering again. Did Lucien already know? Would Lucien think Damien was replacing his father? Would he even mind? Robert didn’t want to be a father again. Though, maybe that had changed now? It wasn’t fair for Damien to ever expect Robert to become a second father for Lucien, he’d said he wouldn’t, though that did seem a bit inevitable if things progressed. He sighed and set the book down, giving up. Lucien would be the first person he told, he knew that for sure, he just didn’t know when or how.

He eventually unlocked his phone again and texted Robert back after leaving him on read all day.

_ I am very pleased to hear that your evening went so well. _

He decided to not say anything about his mental turmoil on the subject of their future, knowing that this was not a subject that Robert enjoyed conversing on. He decided as well that he would tell Lucien before Christmas but not quite yet. He could only hope now that Lucien took the news well.

_ Robert: She was impressed that I got so dressed up so I guess you were right. I’m going out of town most of next week, by the way. Can I take you out for real before then? _

Damien smiled at his phone as he walked down the stairs to start on dinner and nearly fell down to the ground floor when Mary cleared her throat. “Lord, Mary, you hedge-creeper, you nearly scared me half to death,” he said as she laughed.

“I have no idea what you called me but it sounds ridiculous, who are you texting?”

“A whore - what I called you, not whom I was talking to. If you must know, I received news that Lucien’s exams went rather well.”

She raised an eyebrow and Damien hoped it wasn’t in suspicion “well, pass my congratulations on to him then.”

“I will,” he sat across from her in the living room “now, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Well, I seem to recall you saying that you moving here would provide us with lots of time to spend together and yet, I’ve barely seen you.”

Damien smiled and checked his watch “well, I was on my way to start dinner and you are more than welcome to join us for dinner should you like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave me a comment if you have any feedback, I love reading them so that I know people are enjoying what I post. If you don't already, give me a follow on tumblr for updates and occasional ddadds spam, along with the other fandoms I write for.
> 
> See you next week!


	13. Chapter 13

“Hey, Dames,” Mary asserted casually as her, Damien, and Lucien ate dinner “remember that time you took like… ten shots and slept wi-”

“Mary!” Damien yelped and set his fork down, glancing at Lucien, who was staring at his plate awkwardly.

“Can I be excused?” Lucien asked.

“Mary, control yourself. Lucien, stay.” Damien said exasperatedly.

“I’m just trying to help him grow from your mistakes,” Mary said smugly and Damien scoffed.

“I don’t think he’d remember much after ten shots,” Lucien mumbled from behind his hand.

Damien put his head in his hands as Mary high-fived Lucien “good one. Your father used to be better at handling his alcohol, though, not that good, though, I was always way better.”

“The point of this is not whether I am or have ever been a lightweight, the point is that I should not have been sleeping with anyone that night because I was not sober enough to consent to that. Lucien?”

Lucien rolled his eyes “I know, dad, don’t worry. I’m sorry dudes were dicks back then.”

“Back in prehistoric times when we were young?” Mary teased as Lucien ate quickly enough that it was obvious he wanted out of the conversation.

“You haven’t aged a day, Mary, stop being melodramatic.” Damien sighed, sipping his wine.

“And you’re still a flirt, sure you’re not into women?”

Damien stuck his tongue out at her “positive. Lucien, is there anything you want to do over the break?”

Lucien looked up, fork hanging out of his mouth before he realized what his father had asked and composed himself enough to answer with some semblance of manners “oh, um, not really, besides going back to Boston.”

“Alright, well, please do let me know if there’s anything you wish to do, I know that you’re very stressed with school during the school year so I was hoping that during the break we could spend some ti-”

Lucien cut him off when he stood “I will, can I be exposed now? I’m done.”

Damien blinked and nodded “yes, of course. Goodnight, love.” They waited until the door to Lucien’s door closed before leaning his head back “I’m trying to toe the line between a helicopter parent and letting him go too easily but I don’t know what to do at this point.”

Mary took Damien’s hand and their wine glasses before leading him to the couch and laying against him. He’d gotten through a lot by falling asleep while venting to her: tonight didn’t seem like it would be any different as she leaned against him, his arm wrapped loosely around her waist as they leaned on the couch. “He just wants me to ignore him and I understand, I remember being fifteen, but… fuck, he’s almost sixteen and soon he’s going to be gone and I just don’t want to drive him away but I also can’t let him go yet.”

She nodded into Damien’s chest and rubbed his wrist soothingly, not saying anything until he stopped venting “you’re not your parents, Dames.”

“I know… I just don’t want him to go through that.”

“He won’t, unless you plan to cut all contact with him and cut him off financially?”

It made more sense when she said it. “I suppose it’s not exactly the same…”

“Damien, you’re nothing like your parents, stop thinking that.”

He didn’t say anything after that.

  
  


Mary let herself out sometime after Damien fell asleep and he woke up with a blanket from the spare room thrown over him. His phone had fallen out of his pocket as he slept and as he picked it up, he realized that he never texted Robert back.

_ Yes, that would be lovely. I apologize for not replying sooner, Mary accosted me. _

_ Robert: Dinner tomorrow? I leave the next morning. _

_ Perfect. You pick the place, I’ll do anything so long as there is something vegetarian. How long are you gone for? _

_ Robert: Leave Saturday morning, come back Friday night. _

_ Sounds like quite a trip. Where are you planning to go? _

_ Robert: driving to Oklahoma, taking Betsy of course. _

Damien rubbed his eyes and checked his watch, he had to be in the office in a few hours so he had to ignore the urge to invite Robert over as he got up to shower and get ready.

_ Be safe. I look forward to our date tomorrow. _

  
  


“No, if you’re going to pay, which I know you will insist upon doing, the  _ least _ I can do is drive.”

Robert shoved his hands into his pockets as they stood in Damien’s driveway. Damien thought he was going to protest but then he took his hands back up and held up his palms in surrender “fine, get your keys.”

Damien pulled Robert inside and wrapped his arms around his waist “is something wrong? You’re… more argumentative than usual.”

“I’d just rather drive is all,”

Damien stepped back when Robert’s reply still held that cold tone “then drive, it really does not matter to me, I was only hoping to-”

“I know, it’s just -”

“Because you want to be the guy in the relationship, I understand,” Damien replied shortly, biting the inside of his cheek as he took his coat off the hook.

“What?” Robert said, his harsh expression turning to concern “that’s not it…”

“Then what is it?”

Robert leaned against the door and crossed his arms “it’s stupid but you just have a really nice car and a lot of money and all and I… I don’t know, that’s not me. I don’t want to be chauffeured around like you’re…”

Damien let himself relax after a moment before he chuckled and kissed Robert’s cheek “it’s okay, I’m happy to hear that it’s not… what I thought. I’m happy to let you drive, though this is something you’ll need to come to terms with should this continue.”

Robert wrapped his arms around Damien “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you from the start, I should have known you would take it like that. I’ll only ever see you as a man, though, you know that, right?”

Damien hummed into Robert’s neck briefly before pulling back “I know, rationally at least, I know.” He followed Robert to his truck in his driveway once he locked his front door “so where are you taking me?”

“Is pizza okay with you? It isn’t the fanciest place around but it has damn good food.”

Damien took his hand once they started driving “fine by me,”

Robert was quiet for a minute, his thumb stroking the inside of Damien’s wrist casually “I’ll miss you,” he eventually said.

Damien smiled and leaned over to kiss him at a red light “I’ll miss you too,”

Robert flicked off the car behind them when they honked, making Damien jump back into his seat “Robert, please,” he laughed, reaching over to pull Robert’s arm back into the car.

“Please what? Pull over?” he asked slyly as he drove.

Damien rolled his eyes and moved his hand to Robert’s knee “not right now, there’s not enough room in your car, having a back seat has some advantages at times.”

“Good point, we could turn around and go take your car instead?”

“I’d rather, if we’re turning around, we just went back to your place,” Damien teased.

“Really?”

Damien chuckled and shook his head “no, I want to get dinner first, but then I can probably spare a few hours if you can.”

Robert pulled into the parking of a strip mall which held a few boutiques, a fishing and outdoors store, the movie theatre, and a small pizza restaurant. Robert insisted on opening Damien’s car door for him and, though Damien protested, he secretly found it very endearing. Robert put his arm around Damien’s shoulders as they walked “if you’re driving in the morning, I don’t want to keep you up,” Damien pointed out as they stepped inside, briefly stepping out of Robert’s grasp to take off his coat.

“I’ll be fine, Dames,” Robert said, subtly pulling Damien closer again by his belt “so do you have holiday plans?”

Damien slapped his wrist playfully as they were taken to a booth “nothing big, it’s really just me and Lucien, and he’s away in Boston for a week to visit friends until Christmas so…”

Robert sat down and raised an eyebrow “is he now? How exciting for him.”

Damien thanked the hostess and rolled his eyes as he sat down “that was not an invitation, I was simply filling you in on my holiday plans.”

“I never said it was. I hope this isn’t too personal, but things with your family are… not great?”

Damien leaned back and shook his head “not great is probably a bit of an understatement. They did not handle Lucien well.”

“How old were you then?”

“Nineteen, twenty when he was born.”

Robert pursed his lips “I’m sorry for bringing it up,”

“It’s okay, what about your parents? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Not in the country so I don’t see them often,”

Damien hummed and reached over to take Robert’s hand “so what has you going to Oklahoma?”

“Doing some location research for a short story I’m working on and also trying to get ahead on writing.”

“Am I really so distracting that you can’t write with me with you in the state?”

“Yes, actually,” Robert said “want to split a pizza down the middle? I’ve missed my past two deadlines because you’re insufferably sexy.”

Damien blushed and squeezed his hand “sure, I’m happy with just cheese on my side. I’m terribly sorry that I have been distracting you so much, please do let me know if I am being too…”

“It’s not your fault. I need to learn some self-control but…” Robert’s eyes flicked over him in a way that made Damien look away, suddenly feeling very exposed despite being covered nearly from head to toe. Damien moved his hand back to his lap when a waiter approached to take their order. Once they ordered food and drinks, Robert “I’m going to get ahead since if I’m going to meet my next deadline, I’ll need to be distraction-free. Plus, if Lucien is away once I get back, I don’t think I’ll be getting much work done.”

“He leaves Friday morning.”

“He’s visiting friends in Boston you said?”

Damien nodded “he misses his life there.”

“What made you move out of the city anyway?”

“Less expensive, calmer,” he glanced up “ah, looks like our food is on the way over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have any thoughts about this fic (or if you just want to say hi and talk about ddadds). See you next week!


	14. Chapter 14

“You have pizza sauce on your face,” Damien chuckled, leaning over to wipe Robert’s chin with his thumb.

Robert wrinkled his nose and took another bite of Hawaiian pizza “uh-huh, what about it?”

Damien rolled his eyes and dabbed his own mouth with a napkin “I can’t take you anywhere, can I?”

“Does that mean you don’t want to go on more dates?”

Damien gasped in fake surprise “you wouldn’t dare,”

Robert chuckled as he finished his slice of pizza before picking up another one “you’re right, I like seeing you smile too much for that,”

Damien hummed and took out his wallet, having slid the check over to his side of the table without Robert noticing “then why don’t you take me home? I want to spend some time with you before you go.”

“You haven’t been spending enough time with me already?” he teased, his face turning to confusion as he looked for the bill.

Damien handed the bill and his cash to a passing waitress before leaning his head on his hand “I suppose that you could just drop me off at home if you’d rather sleep alone,”

Robert raised an eyebrow “I didn’t know you were planning on staying the night,”

“Is that a problem for you?” Damien asked casually.

Robert stood up and shook his head “god, no, not at all. You’re very forward tonight.”

Damien followed him back to his truck and shrugged “I suppose. I’m afraid I’ll miss you quite a lot, I want to take advantage of my time with you.”

“I’m not complaining,” Robert chuckled as he climbed into the driver’s seat.

“I hope this isn’t too personal of a question, but have you heard any more from your daughter?”

Robert started the truck and pursed his lips “Val? Yeah, she’s good. She wants to meet you. Does Lucien know yet?”

Damien looked out the window “well, I haven’t told him, I’m sure he’s aware of how unusual me having a guest this often is but I have not said anything yet. I’m hoping to tell him before Christmas if that is alright with you.”

“Sure, he’s your kid so he can know whenever you’re ready.”

“So things are still going well with Val?”

“I mean…” Robert rubbed the back of his neck “as well as I could hope, it’s weird having to catch up with my own daughter because it’s like… I should have been there in the first place, you know? But yeah. She has a girlfriend now which is so crazy but, like, I’m happy for her, of course, it’s just crazy how much she’s grown up since I last talked to her. And she’s so fucking smart, I have no idea how she’s my kid because wow she just… and she’s working as a freelance photographer even though I said that going into the arts isn’t stable because she’s so goddamn stubborn and thank god because otherwise, she would have listened to my awful advice.” Robert didn’t seem to realize he was rambling as he drove, Damien liked listening to him, though, especially when he seemed so happy, so he didn’t stop him.

“She seems like a lovely young woman,” he said once Robert finally fell silent “I’d love to meet her one day.”

“She’d love you. You’re so much like her mom sometimes, it’s scary.”

“How so?”

Robert hesitated “in a lot of little ways but mainly you’re just… you make me really happy and I thought that when I lost her, that I’d lost that too.”

Damien leaned over and kissed Robert’s cheek “you make me happy too.”

  
  


Damien let Robert push him up against the wall as soon as they were inside, laughing softly when Robert pulled away to kiss his jaw.

“What is it?” Robert asked, subtly pushing Damien’s coat off his shoulders.

“You’re so eager,” Damien smiled and stroked Robert’s hair out of his face “it’s endearing,”

“And you’re a tease,”

“How so?” Damien asked, pulling Robert along with him into his bedroom.

“How far do you want to go tonight?” Robert interrupted.

Damien took his coat off and sighed “I am not sure yet…” he wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck and hummed “I do feel safe with you but I am just not sure that I’m…”

“It’s okay, I’ll just follow your lead,” Robert said, backing Damien up to the bed.

“I like when you’re in control, though,” Damien half teased, half admitted.

Robert kicked his shoes off and flopped down on the bed “you’re too much, c’mere.”

  
  


“Fucking hell, Betsy, no,” Robert sighed as the dog started whining from behind the closed door. Damien chuckled and wrapped one leg around Robert’s to keep him from getting off of him. “I swear she always wants attention,” Robert chuckled before he returned to kissing Damien’s neck.

Damien closed his eyes and moved his hands back to Robert’s hair “I can relate to that sentiment,” he managed to breathe rather steadily.

“Right now I’m much more interested in giving you attention than her, especially if you start moaning again,” Robert teased before sitting up to take his shirt off.

Damien pushed a pillow into Robert’s chest to push him off jokingly “shut up,”

Robert leaned back over him and kissed him again. Damien kissed back but was distracted as he searched for a compromise between the part of his mind that wanted to let his inhibitions go and the rational part of his mind. “You still okay?” Robert asked after a minute.

Damien nodded and sat up, thinking for a second before he started unbuttoning his shirt.

Robert held Damien’s wrist and sat up as well “are you sure?”

Damien leaned over and kissed him, having to pull himself back after a few minutes so that he could answer “I’m sure. I want to.”

“Then I  _ really  _ want you to as well,” Robert mumbled as he kissed Damien again and unbuttoned his shift for him while Damien ran his hands over Robert’s chest. Damien shrugged his shirt off, leaving him in just his binder from the waist up. He expected to feel uncomfortable and overexposed but he felt more comfortable than ever. “Tell me if it’s too much,” Robert said when he eventually broke away. “God, you’re handsome,” he sighed as his eyes flicked over Damien’s body.

Damien laughed and squeezed his eyes shut. He stopped himself from denying Robert’s compliment. “Thank you,” he eventually muttered before laying back down “I am fine for the time being.”

Robert laid back down beside him and ran his fingers over Damien’s ribs, making him squirm and hide a smile behind one hand. “Stop,” Robert smiled, pulling Damien’s hand away “I like seeing you smile.”

Damien kissed him and laughed softly against his lips, loving the feeling of Robert’s hands on his body a lot more than he had imagined. He hadn’t seen a relationship in his future until so recently and it had just seemed like the rational thing to do. It wasn’t a conscious choice either, it was just the mindset he found himself in after so many years being on his own but then Robert was suddenly in his life and he couldn’t imagine why he said he didn’t want this anymore. What had seemed like simply him growing used to being alone was also partially him not really believing that anyone would really love him in the way he wanted to be loved. And it wasn’t just the romantic and physical aspects of their relationship that Damien had needed because as much as he loved making out with Robert, what he thought he loved just a bit more was the knowledge that Robert really cared about him. “Go look after Betsy, I need to take my contacts out,” he muttered once he pulled away, the whining had started again from outside.

Robert nodded and got out of bed “bathroom’s -”

Damien cut him off with a quick kiss before he left “I know,” he stepped into the bathroom to use the mirror. He brought his contact case and glasses in the pocket of his cloak in case he ended up staying at Robert’s. He blinked a few times after taking out his contacts before slipping his glasses on so that he could see again. Robert was in the kitchen refilling Betsy’s water bowl when Damien found him. “Hello,” he said simply, leaning against the counter.

Robert glanced over and smiled “hey, sweetheart, give me a second and I’ll be back with you,” Damien was aware suddenly that this could really be the rest of his life. He was getting so far ahead of himself but how could he not? Robert was so easy to love. Robert set the bowl down before brushing his hands off on his jeans “you okay with picking up about where we left off?”

Damien nodded and kissed Robert’s cheek before allowing himself to be led back to bed. Falling into bed with him felt natural even when Robert fingers skimmed over the seam of his binder. Damien shook his head a bit “I’m not taking that off yet,”

Robert’s hand moved back down to his hip instead “I wasn’t asking you to, sorry, I just like touching you,”

“Then don’t stop,”

Robert chuckled and kissed Damien again. He subtly shifted closer until Damien spread his legs to let Robert settle on top of him. Though he didn’t plan on letting Robert move much farther than that, Damien enjoyed the closeness. Robert broke away and rested his forehead against Damien’s “I love you,” he mumbled.

It caught Damien off guard because it really was so early in their relationship, they’d known each other barely a month and been dating for only a portion of that time but… “I love you too,” Damien replied before kissing Robert, and he didn’t doubt for a second that he meant it. He knew that there was a thin line between infatuation and love but he was certain that he really was in love with Robert. Robert felt like home, he felt like that Damien wanted the rest of his life to feel like. It’s easy to say you love someone during the good times but Damien felt the same way towards Robert when he was being irrational and when he knew that were it anyone else, he would have left. Damien wouldn’t put up with some of Robert’s behavior and unpredictability if it came from anyone else but he was ready to put up with the time apart and cheesy lines and late nights if it meant keeping him in his life.

“Sorry,” Robert said after a minute when he pulled away “I didn’t mean to say it that early, I was planning to wait longer and until it was special but I-”

Damien cut him off with a gentle slap to the hip “please don’t ruin it by apologizing, did you mean it?”

Robert nodded “of course I did,”

“Good, so did I,” Damien said as he wiggled out from underneath Robert “that’s all I needed to hear,”

“What are you doing?” Robert asked, sitting up to watch Damien get off the bed.

Damien put his hair up and then kneeled in front of him. Robert stopped asking questions then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit rating kicks in next chapter. Obviously.
> 
> Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have any feedback! Happy (belated) Valentine's Day! Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be aware of the rating change for this chapter ;)

“Are you sure that you’re okay with this?” Robert asked, holding Damien’s chin to keep him still until he answered.

Damien pulled Robert’s wrist away gently and nodded “I’m sure, as long as it’s something you want as well,”

“Fuck, yes, go ahead then,” Robert said, moving his hand to the back of Damien’s neck instead.

Damien undid Robert’s belt and chuckled “you’re cute when you’re flustered,”

“I’m not flustered,” Robert said defensively, turning his head away to hide how flustered he most definitely was.

Damien undid Robert’s jeans and pulled them down with a surprisingly strong tug “I want you to look at me,”

“Yessir,” Robert said, his eyes landing back on Damien, who he thought looked very good on his knees.

“Oh wow,” Damien breathed as he pulled down Robert’s boxers as well.

Robert jumped a bit in surprise at Damien’s eagerness “you really don’t hold back, huh? There’s lube i-” he was cut off by a sharp inhale of breath as Damien licked over the head of his dick. Damien laughed before guiding Robert into his mouth. Robert leaned his head back for a moment before looking back down at Damien who did not seem nearly as out of practice as he claimed to be as he bobbed his head low. Robert was hesitant to get too rough with Damien where they hadn’t talked much about the concept of sex yet, which was something that Robert knew in the back of his mind that he really should have done before letting Damien go down on him but that was really not his top priority right now so long as Damien was still the one making the decisions. Robert stroked Damien’s hair as much as his messy bun allowed and desperately wanted to wrap it around his hand and pull but wouldn’t yet. Damien’s eyes watered behind his glasses as he pushed himself fully down, his gag reflex finally kicking in but he didn’t pull off. Yet again, Robert had to restrain himself as the urge to hold Damien’s head still and thrust into his mouth hit him. Damien meanwhile set up a steady pace, his eyes still watering but his movements more comfortable now despite how deep he was taking Robert into his mouth and throat.

“Fuck,” Robert breathed shakily “you’re so fucking sexy,”

Damien pulled off after a second and smiled, replacing his mouth with his hand and stroking Robert at an agonizingly slow pace. He wiped his mouth with the back of his free hand and leaned his cheek against Robert’s knee as he watched Robert fall apart above him. After a moment, licked over Robert’s slit before taking him fully back into his mouth. “Jesus!” Robert half-groaned, half-yelped, one leg jerking slightly. Damien smiled at his reaction and met Robert’s eyes for a moment before swallowing around him, making his mouth even tighter. “Fuck, off, off,” Robert stuttered, squeezing his eyes shut as Damien pulled off and began stroking Robert with his hand again. 

Robert reopened his eyes to see Damien still kneeling and looking up at him, his mouth now open and his tongue out expectantly and that was far too much for Robert to handle. He moaned Damien’s name as he came over his lover’s face and tongue. Damien worked him through his orgasm before taking his cum-coated glasses off and swallowing. He licked his lips before wiping his face off as best he could and Robert felt like he was going to cum again from how obscene Damien looked. Robert wanted to protest as Damien disappeared briefly into the bathroom to clean himself up but he was too out of breath to say much of anything until Damien climbed back into bed with him.

“You’re fucking unbelievable…” Robert chuckled into Damien’s hair as he pulled him close.

“Thank you,” Damien smiled as he set his, now cleaned, glasses beside the bed.

“Can I do anything for you?” Robert asked, running his hand along the slight curve of Damien’s waist.

Damien shook his head “not tonight, I’m tired. Could I borrow a shirt to sleep in?”

Robert felt his chest tighten at the mere thought of Damien sleeping in his clothes. He nodded and shifted out from under Damien before putting on a clean pair of boxers and grabbing a large, light gray t-shirt from his dresser. “I can wait outside while you change if you want.”

Damien took the shirt “only if you want to, I’m feeling alright with things tonight so I’m alright with you staying if you’d like.”

Robert crawled back into bed “okay, just tell me if you change your mind,”

Damien kissed him quickly before pulling his dress pants off, leaving him in just underwear and his binder. Robert did his best not to stare but then Damien pulled his binder off over his head. Robert took Damien’s hands and kissed him, careful to still give him some space as he wasn’t sure where Damien’s boundaries would lie in this situation. Damien slipped one hand out of Robert’s and held his chin, shifting slightly closer to him without breaking the kiss. Robert eventually broke away and nipped at Damien’s ear, making him laugh and wrap his arms around Robert’s neck “stop, I’m trying to get dressed and then go to bed,”

“And I’m trying to keep you from doing that,” Robert sighed, running his hands up Damien’s back, enjoying the feeling of having just skin under his palms.

“I can tell,” Damien leaned against him “thank you for being so respectful tonight. It means a lot to me.”

“Of course,” Robert kissed his cheek “before you go to bed, can we talk?”

Damien pulled back and pulled Robert’s t-shirt on “of course, what would you like to talk about?”

“I want to know how to make sex good for you,” Robert said, pulling Damien closer as he laid down.

Damien hummed for a second “alright, let me take off my makeup and then we’ll talk.”

  
  


When Damien returned to bed, Robert made room for him beside him and wrapped his arms back around his waist “I want to do this when we’re not trying to do anything else, if you catch my drift, because I don’t want to skip over anything. What do you want sex to involve?”

Damien let his hair down and sighed “I wish I could give you a better answer but really… I don’t know. I’m not entirely sure how intimacy will make me feel, I do want to try, though, so please do not think of this as a rejection of any sort. Please just be aware that I have not been intimate with anyone new since coming to terms with my gender and you will likely need to be patient with me.”

Robert absentmindedly ran his fingers through Damien’s hair and nodded “of course, I understand - well, I don’t but…”

Damien chuckled “I know what you’re trying to say. Enough about me, how was tonight for you?”

Robert noticed Damien’s deflection and made a mental note to come back to their previous conversation “fucking fantastic. You’re amazing.”

Damien blushed and turned his head away “you flatter me too much, love, though I am glad to hear that you enjoyed yourself.”

“Can I ask you some more questions?” Robert asked once Damien was smiling again. He wanted the conversation to be a comfortable one. Damien nodded so Robert continued “are there any terms that make you uncomfortable?”

Damien thought for a moment, long fingers stroking through Robert’s hair “besides the obvious realm of slurs and misgendering me, it would make me most comfortable if you avoided using specific terms for my anatomy, I’m much more comfortable with vague, neutral terminology than traditionally gendered terms,” Robert agreed and Damien thought again “and please don’t call me pretty in or out of bed.”

“I can work with that

“It is a little late for me to be asking this but you are clean, aren’t you?”

Robert nodded and smiled slightly “I haven’t slept with anyone besides you since I got my last test results, I wouldn’t have let you blow me without a condom otherwise.”

Damien let out a small sigh of relief “thank you, I had planned to ask you if you’d get tested but I… got distracted,”

Robert kissed Damien’s temple “I noticed. I’m not complaining, though. Can I ask one more question?” Again, Damien nodded. “This is probably a really stupid question but could you theoretically get pregnant again?”

Damien chuckled “that’s not a stupid question, and it’s not a simple one to answer. I’m not infertile due to my HRT, if that’s what you were thinking. I am on birth control, though, so that is highly unlikely for me at the moment. And I do not plan on having any more children, if you were considering that.”

Robert laughed and shook his head “trust me, I wasn’t. I was just curious.”

“Curious about whether I will make you wear a condom?”

“Will you?”

Damien laughed and pushed Robert’s hip gently before rolling over “goodnight, Robert,”

“It was a simple question,” Robert mumbled before turning off the light and then wrapping his arms back around Damien and pulling him close.

  
  


Damien was startled awake by Robert’s alarm going off. Robert quickly shut it off and cursed before curling back up in bed with Damien, who slowly relaxed again. “Sorry,” Robert muttered into the back of Damien’s neck.

Damien stretched “what time is it?”

Robert exhaled softly and rubbed Damien’s hip as Damien arched his back into him “jesus, you’re too much… six. Go back to bed if you want.”

Damien rolled over to face Robert “are you leaving?”

Robert nodded “I’ve got to pack some things before I head out.”

Damien whined and pressed closer to him “five more minutes,”

Robert chuckled and patted Robert’s thigh “I’d love to, babe, but I need to get going if I’m going to make it there on time. I love you.”

Damien kissed him before he got out of bed “I love you too. Be safe.”

Robert pulled on a shirt and smiled “I’ll do my best to get home in one peace. I’ll have Betsy to protect me.”

Damien chuckled as he put his glasses on and picked up his clothes “she’s a fantastic guard dog. Just let me get changed and I’ll let you pack.”

  
  


“How’s Robert?” Lucien asked from the kitchen, making Damien jump as he closed the front door to his house behind him.

He sighed and looked at Lucien, who was leaning against the counter with a toaster waffle in one hand “how long have you known?”

Lucien shrugged “you’re not very sneaky. I don’t care, you can screw whoever you want, just don’t pretend you’re not and don’t expect me to call him dad.”

Damien hung his cloak up by the door and walked into the kitchen “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, darling, I just didn’t want to rush things.”

“It’s fine,” Lucien said, taking a bite of his waffle “he seems cool. I’m happy for you or whatever. Dad called last night, by the way.”

Damien hummed and took off his shoes “did he now…”

“He wants me to spend Christmas with him…”

Damien glanced at Lucien “is that what you want?”

Lucien scoffed “fuck no,”

Damien crossed his arms “please don’t use that language, Lucien,”

“Sorry, I don’t have to go, do I?”

Damien shook his head “of course not, not if you don’t want to.”

Lucien hugged Damien “thanks, dad,” he said quickly before pulling back and walking back to his room “I’m not calling Robert dad, I’d just like to reiterate that,” he called before closing the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. Yes. That is something I wrote. You're welcome. Also more Lucien moments because I love good parenting.
> 
> Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have feedback!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut with a side of plot

Damien picked up Lucien’s suitcase for him as Lucien waved at his friends through the window “are you sure you have everything?”

Lucien nodded and took the case from his father “I’ll be fine, dad, stop worrying.”

“It’s in my nature. At least text me when you get there to let me know you got in alright?”

Lucien hugged Damien “I will, and if I don’t it’s because I forgot, not because I’m dead. I’ll see you next week.”

Damien sighed and let go of his son “remember to-”

Lucien was already at the door “I will!” he interrupted before disappearing to get into his friend’s car. 

“Be safe! I love you!” Damien called after him and got a wave in response which he supposed was the best he could ask for. He sat down and sighed into his hands. He had definitely not been ready to have Lucien spending a week away from home but he also didn’t want to risk pushing him away by being too overprotective. The Christiansens were on vacation in Florida for Christmas which meant Damien was alone until Robert got home that night. At least he could look forward to that…

He’d missed Robert like crazy, especially since Robert was completely off the grid so that he could focus on work. Damien had done his best to get ahead on work, he’d spent more days than usual in the office so he could work from home more once Robert came home. He wasn’t unaware of the fact that Lucien would be out of the house and Robert would likely be over quite a lot, nor was he unaware what that implied, which wasn’t making him feel any more stable. He wasn’t worried in the sense that he didn’t want to, that would be easier to deal with as he could just tell Robert that would not be a part of their relationship but the uncertainty was killing him. 

He distracted himself from his worry about his sex life and Lucien by tending to the garden, which had filled in nicely by now, and once that was finished, he started a new painting. He stopped in to the shelter for a few hours which was a part of his life that he had been neglecting recently. The dogs were rambunctious from the cool weather so they kept him on his toes and distracted, as did how busy things were with the holidays approaching but soon all the dogs were walked and he had to go home and find something new to occupy his mind. He turned to answering his work emails and then once he had cleared out his inbox, rereading one of his favourite books from his library. Despite how many distractions he provided himself with, he couldn’t shake the tight feeling in his throat when he noticed the sunlight fading over the pages of his novel. He closed his book before checking his phone to see that Lucien had sent a short “got here safe. love you” message, which Damien greatly appreciated. Knowing that Lucien was settled did make him a good deal better and even grounded enough that he remembered that he had to eat at some point that day.

It was while Damien was cooking that he heard the front door open quietly behind him. He set down the spoon he was stirring the sauce pan with and turned “Robert?” he called cautiously. When he didn’t get an answer, he picked up a kitchen knife on instinct before poking his head into the main room. The door was closed again and the room was empty, though with all the lights off, it was hard to know for sure. “Robert, this is hardly comical,” he chewed his lip as he flipped on the lights. He yelped and nearly jumped out of his skin when arms wrapped tightly around him from behind. Damien very intimidatingly dropped the knife and then pulled his arms over his head protectively until his captor started laughing.

“You absolute asshole,” he groaned, leaning back into Robert “what made you think that that was a wise idea? I nearly stabbed you.”

Robert kissed his neck and grinned “did you now? I seem to recall you immediately dropping your weapon. That’s a terrible self-defense strategy.”

Damien turned around and kissed Robert, wrapping his arms around his neck. He let himself get lost in the moment until his timer went off and pulled him back to reality. “Have you eaten yet?” He asked as he pulled himself free from Robert’s grip and went back to the kitchen to keep the food from burning.

“I grabbed stuff on the road. Betsy’s a big fan of cheeseburgers and it didn’t feel right to end the road trip without getting her another one.”

Damien chuckled and turned the stove off “please don’t tell me you fed her human food all week.”

“Fine,” Robert said, “I won’t.”

Damien chuckled “are you tired?”

Robert shrugged and took off his jacket “a bit, I want to get some time in with you first, though.”

“Why don’t you go shower since you’ve been driving all day and I’ll eat and meet you upstairs.”

  
  


Damien found Robert checking his reflection in the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist. “You look very handsome,” Damien chuckled from the bathroom doorway.

Robert eyed him in the mirror and smiled before turning around “I missed you,”

Damien stepped forward and kissed him, wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck. He gasped softly when Robert backed him up against the bathroom wall but didn’t protest. He ran his fingers through Robert’s still-wet hair and hummed against his mouth until Robert deepened the kiss and his hands skimmed over Damien’s torso and hips. He whined as Robert moved one hand into his hair and gripped it with more force than he’d used before. “Sorry,” Robert muttered, letting go again and shifting to kissing Damien’s jaw.

“No, god, don’t stop,” Damien breathed, his eyes still closed and a deep blush splashed across his face.

Robert smirked and pulled gently on Damien’s collar “didn’t expect you to like it rough,”

“Please don’t mock me,”

Robert lifted Damien up and pressed him harder against the wall “I’d never dream of it. I want to know more of what you’re into, though,”

Damien leaned his head back against the wall and wrapped his legs around Robert’s waist. “You’re going to send me into cardiac arrest if you keep this up,” he mumbled before kissing Robert again. After a minute of feeling Robert pressed against him like that, especially in just a towel, Damien decided that he was wearing far too many layers and he softly let out a whine of protest “put me down, love,”

Robert quickly helped Damien back to the floor, a concerned look on his face “is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” he chuckled, kissing Robert again quickly “I just want to go somewhere more comfortable,”

“Oh, okay, that’s good,” Robert said, following Damien back into his bedroom and sounding very flustered “should I get dressed again or?...”

Damien adjusted the curtains to make sure there was no way anyone could see in from the street before taking off his cloak, jacket, and necktie “unless you want to, I have no complaints with you like this,”

Robert chuckled “it only seems fair that you lose some more layers too in that case,”

Damien scoffed but unbuttoned his shirt anyway “in the sake of fairness only,”

Robert helped Damien pull his shirt off and kissed his shoulder “I’ll take what I can get. Do you want to leave your binder on for this?”

Damien shook his head “it hurts if I start breathing too heavily while I’m wearing it,”

“Alright,” Robert sat down on the bed “I’d tell you to take the lead but you seem to like being manhandled a bit,”

Damien blushed and climbed onto Robert’s lap “what can I say? I’m an enigma.”

“Fuck, yeah you are,” Robert laughed and kissed him again. He shifted slightly beneath Damien who trailed his fingertips down Robert’s chest. “God, hold on, let me do something for you first?” Robert asked hopefully.

Damien shifted off of Robert and unbuckled his pants before pulling them off “what did you have in mind?”

“Can I eat you out?” Robert asked breathlessly.

Damien bit his tongue and thought for a second before nodding “just - if I say I’m done, you’ll stop?”

Robert kissed him “of course, you can always say to stop, no pressure, okay?”

Damien nodded and sat up to take off his binder before laying down and letting Robert settle between his legs. He crossed his arms over his face bashfully as Robert pulled down his underwear.

“You still good?” Robert asked, running one hand over Damien’s thigh. Damien nodded. “I want you to say it… I just want to ma-”

“Goddamnit, Robert, yes!” Damien whined, eyes still covered by his arms until Robert ran his tongue experimentally between Damien’s legs. Damien moaned and one hand shot instinctively into Robert’s hair.

Robert chuckled and lifted his head “are you still-”

Damien nodded quickly “please don’t stop,” he half-whined, half-laughed. Robert didn’t complain and instead returned to pleasuring him with his mouth. Damien could tell he was experienced but also didn’t seem to simply by running through the motions. He took time to explore what actions and areas caused the best reactions, taking the time to figure out exactly what his lover liked most. After a few minutes of teasing, he ran his tongue firmly against the bundle of nerves that made Damien’s legs shake. Damien moaning below him and gripping his hair only encouraged him more as he repeated the action until Damien all but cried Robert’s name as he hit his climax. Damien groaned and closed his legs again as Robert climbed back up to meet him. Damien leaned his head back and whined as he came down, cuddling into Robert’s chest “thank you,” he panted after a minute.

Robert chuckled and ran his hand along Damien’s spine “my pleasure, you okay? We can be done now if you’ve had enough.”

Damien shook his head “no, I’m fine, just give me a second,” he was all but limp from what he could safely say was the best orgasm of his life but he eventually rolled back onto his back “just be gentle, I haven’t done this in a while,”

Robert kissed Damien quickly before kneeling between his legs “of course, we’ll go as slow as you need,”

Damien nodded and leaned his head back on the pillow, briefly closing his eyes until he felt Robert’s fingers between his legs again. He gasped softly and Robert’s free had come up to hold his “I’m fine,” he reassured before Robert could ask “keep going.” Robert continued, slowly pushing one finger and then two into Damien. That alone wasn’t pleasurable in the same way as before but it wasn’t a bad feeling either, but then Robert’s thumb came to press gently against that bundle of nerves that made Damien press into him and whine.

“Tell me if it’s too soon for that,” Robert chuckled, moving his hand from Damien’s to his thigh instead. Damien groaned softly and shook his head. He’d never had someone focus so much on his own pleasure before. He’d been missing out. 

He briefly brought his hands up to hold the headboard before quickly moving one down to hold Robert’s wrist and push his fingers farther into him. “Fuck,” Robert breathed, amusement on his voice “you’re so hot when you’re turned on. Ya’ want to keep going then?” Damien nodded and whined softly and Robert pulled his hand back “easy,” Robert chuckled at Damien’s protests “just give me a second. Dames,” 

Damien opened his eyes and sat up a bit at the sound of his name. “You never said if you wanted me to use a condom or not.”

Damien laughed softly and laid back down “as long as you’re clean… just get a towel first. These sheets are expensive.”

Robert kissed him quickly before getting up to grab the towel he’d left on the floor. The brief moment of solitude gave Damien time to think. A month ago, the thought of having sex with someone would have seemed so out of the picture, both because of how stagnant his love life had been in recent years and how he doubted he’d be comfortable with another person again to that level. What was so shocking was that this didn’t feel like he was doing this for Robert, he wanted this for himself as well. He wasn’t uncomfortable like he’d imagined he would be, he really wanted this. His thoughts were broken off by Robert climbing back into bed, tucking a towel under them “tell me if it’s too much or hurts of anything.”

Damien nodded and looked up at the ceiling for a moment until Robert kissed him. He was glad for the contact. He curled his fingers into Robert’s hair and as Robert began to slowly push into him, he whined into his mouth.

“Holy…” Robert breathed against Damien, briefly breaking away from him “you’re amazing. You good?”

Damien nodded and moved his free hand to Robert’s hip, gently guiding him farther in. He had expected it to hurt but while suddenly being stretched open far more than he had been in decades, he didn’t feel the sting he had expected or that he had remembered feeling from previous encounters. He had wondered in the past if there was something wrong with him because penetrative sex had never felt all that great to him and usually left him feeling more hurt than anything. It had felt wrong somehow, like something that was meant to click in his body and make sex feel good hadn’t clicked and he was left feeling out of place. He was distracted by Robert kissing him again as he bottomed out. This felt nothing like before. As Robert started to rock his hips into Damien, there was no discomfort or pain, Damien was surprised at just how good it felt to have Robert inside him. He could get used to this, he thought as Robert picked up his speed and groaned against him.

Damien tightened his grip on Robert’s hair as he thrust into him. He moaned and pulled Robert closer again to kiss him. It was uncoordinated and neither of them were really focused on the kiss but Damien wanted to feel him in as many ways as he could. Damien couldn’t think straight enough to know how much time had passed when Robert moved his hand back down to rub that spot that made Damien’s legs shake and his eyes squeeze shut. He was so far gone that he barely registered when Robert warned him that he was close so when he heard Robert groan his name and then release into him, he was a little shocked. Just as shocked as he was when as Robert worked through his own orgasm, he continued working Damien with his fingers until his own climax hit him suddenly. He wrapped his legs around Robert’s waist and pulled him into him instinctively as his moans turned into heavy breathing. 

As Damien’s muscles relaxed, Robert was able to pull out, which made Damien’s hips twitch under Robert’s hands. Robert flopped down beside Damien and kissed his jaw down to his shoulder before closing his eyes. After a moment of both of them catching their breath, Robert cleared his throat “you okay?” He asked, running one hand over Damien’s sweat-sheened stomach.

Damien nodded shallowly and turned his head to face Robert “perfect. You’re so…” he gave up on looking for a more formal word, he was too fucked out to think properly for a good while yet “you’re so good. Thank you,”

Robert chuckled “you’re pretty great in bed yourself,” he has up shakily “now, are you good enough to walk or do I have to carry you into the shower?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is, as much as I hate to admit it, coming to an end soon. I have a few more loose ends to wrap up in the coming chapters but it's almost time to say goodbye. I hope you've enjoyed it so far and that you stick around to see the end! Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have feedback! Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

Damien woke up to a dark bedroom besides a dim blue light from Robert’s phone. He shifted closer to Robert and closed his eyes again.

“Sorry,” Robert set his phone down and wrapped one arm back around Damien “Val,”

Damien nodded “it’s okay. How is she?”

Robert slipped his hand under Damien’s pajama shirt to rub the small of his back “good. She wants to visit for Christmas.”

Damien opened his eyes again “do you want her to?”

Damien couldn’t see Robert well with the only light now being the street light filtering through the curtains “of course I do, it’s just kind of…”

“Scary? I understand.” Robert didn’t say anything. Damien was fully awake now “Lucien knows.”

“So does Mary.”

Damien sat up quickly “for how long?”

Robert chuckled “relax, she’s fine with it. She figured it out last night.”

“She’s going to kill me,” Damien whined, slipping out of bed to find his phone.

_ Mary _

_ Missed Call (2) _

_ Mary: call me back you idiot _

It was 3:45 AM, he’d call her in the morning. He set his phone back down on the dresser and climbed back into bed “what gave it away?”

Robert pulled him closer “really? I’m always here and we’ve both made the walk of shame before. We weren’t too subtle.”

Damien hummed and rested his head on Robert’s chest “I suppose we weren’t. I guess it’s all but common knowledge now.”

“Are you okay with that?”

Damien nodded “I am, I don’t foresee this not working out right now.”

Robert chuckled “me neither. Go back to bed, we’ll worry about it in the morning.”

Damien fell silent and settled until Robert started snoring beside him. Once he was confident that he could move without waking Robert, he rolled over to look out the crack in the curtains at the stars. Even in the suburbs, there were so many more stars than he’d been able to see living in Boston. He smiled and shifted closer to Robert. He fell asleep while trying to figure out if one particular twinkling light was a star or a satellite.

  
  


Damien woke up to Robert shifting behind him. He must have made some sort of noise or moved enough to let Robert know that he was awake because he leaned over and kissed Damien’s temple “shh, I’ll be back in a second,” Damien protested softly but quickly drifted back off until Robert was settling back onto the bed. Damien opened his eyes and sighed happily, watching Robert set a mug of coffee next to him.

“Good morning,” Robert mumbled, stroking Damien’s hair out of his face.

“Morning…” Damien yawned “thanks for last night,”

Robert chuckled “I should be the one thanking you, but yeah, any time,”

“Why do I get the sense you mean that literally?” Damien teased as he sat up to take a hesitant sip of his coffee.

“Because I do,” Robert leaned against the headboard and wrapped his arm around Damien’s waist. They sat in comfortable silence for a while until Damien woke up enough to get up and check his phone “she’s going to kill me,” he chuckled while calling Mary. It was almost 10 so it was hit or miss whether she’d be up but he put it on speaker phone just in case.

“Dames, I’m driving home right now to kill you,” she said as soon as she picked up.

Damien sighed dramatically “Mary, dear, I did intend to tell you,”

“When?”

He put his glasses back on and lifted his arms above his head, covering his mouth so as not to give them away when Robert reached out to grab the now exposed stretch of skin on Damien’s waist. He pushed Robert’s hand away and mouthed ‘stop’ but he really wouldn’t mind if Robert kept his hands on him for the rest of his life “as soon as I was more certain with things, this wasn’t really something I planned.”

“My best friends are sleeping together and neither one of them bothered to tell me.”

“Why am I the only one under fire then? Is Robert not just as much to blame?”

“You told me specifically that you weren’t seeing him and that you weren’t into him,” Damien gave Robert an apologetic look as Mary continued “and don’t try and throw him under the bus, you’re the one that lied to me.”

Damien hummed and climbed back onto Robert’s lap, making him grunt softly before kissing Damien’s shoulder “terribly-” he bit his lip, the slightly higher tone in his voice likely giving them away. He cleared his throat “terribly sorry, Mary, I can guarantee it won’t happen again,”

Robert guided Damien’s chin back and kissed him while Mary continued talking “oh god, he’s not there with you now, is he?”

Robert smiled against Damien’s mouth before pulling back “good morning to you too, Mary, how’s the family?”

“You assholes, I’m going to kill both of you as soon as I get home,”

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Damien chuckled before Mary hung up.

“What are you doing today?” Robert asked, rubbing Damien’s thigh casually.

“Whatever you want me to do,” he teased but he didn’t think he was joking anymore.

Robert hummed “sure you won’t regret that, love?”

Damien shook his head “I don’t think so. And you?”

“My morning is all yours but Val is coming over to meet Betsy this afternoon. If you’re free, I was wondering if you might like to meet her?”

Damien grinned and turned around to face him “really? I’d love to, Robert, if you’ll have me.”

“Yeah, of course,”

“And until then?”

Robert kissed him quickly and smirked, “I think I recall something about you letting me do whatever I want to you?”

  
  


Damien was surprised to see when the facetime from Lucien came up on his phone, he had expected him to forget.

“Hello, love,” he said as he picked up and propped the phone up on the couch cushion. He muted the music playing in the background then went back to stroking Robert’s hair. They had been laying on the couch for probably close to an hour now, Damien reading and Robert working on his phone.

“Hey,” Lucien said. Damien had missed him like crazy and being able to see him again lessened a tension that Damien hadn’t even known he was holding

“How have you been? Are you enjoying yourself?”

Lucien nodded and then shrugged, mixed messages as usual “it’s fine, same as ever.”

Damien smiled, scoffing as Robert wiggled his way up and into the frame, laying casually across Damien’s torso “what’s up, kid?”

Lucien raised an eyebrow then shook his head disapprovingly, but maybe that last part was just Damien’s nerves getting the better of him. “Hi,” he said shortly.

Damien pushed his head gently, long fingers massaging the back of his neck “be kind please, boys. So you’re having fun?”

Lucien nodded after a second “yeah, it’s good. Weird to be back I guess. I was hoping everything would just be the same but, I don’t know, it’s just weird.”

Damien nodded “I understand, love, sometimes things do not live up to our expectations, I hope you’re still enjoying yourself, though.”

“I am, it’s just weird. I’m kind of excited to get back, though, just so, like… Ernest doesn’t get himself killed without me.”

Damien smiled “that would be rather unfavorable, I suppose you won’t be able to completely leave us behind when you graduate,”

Lucien rolled his eyes “don’t start getting sappy, I gotta go but I just wanted to say hi.”

“Alright, well I miss you. Enjoy the rest of your week, dear.”

“Bye, dad,” Lucien hesitated “bye, Robert,” he said quickly before hanging up. Damien watched Robert for a moment until Robert couldn’t hold back a smile. “What are you looking so smug about?” Damien asked, exasperated but also very much in love.

Robert chuckled and shook his head, rolling onto his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows “oh? Nothing. You’re just cute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking probably 1-3 more chapters of this? I'm going to miss this fic a lot. Leave me a comment or reach out to my one tumblr (lupinwritings) with feedback! I love hearing from yall!


	18. Chapter 18

“Are you sure she’ll like me?” Damien asked, holding Robert’s hand as they waited for Val to show up. Damien couldn’t imagine how hard things must have been for Val without having her father dating someone new. Damien had no intention of replacing Val’s mother - for Val or for Robert - but the reality was that he wouldn’t blame her for thinking he was. They had gone over to Robert's house so that Val could meet Betsy, who was now napping happily on Damien’s lap after her initial excitement of seeing him again.

Robert scoffed and wrapped his arm around Damien’s waist instead “she’ll love you, everyone loves you.”

Damien pursed his lips and gently pet Betsy’s head. Instead of replying, he just shifted on the couch to lean more into Robert. He’d gotten dressed in his usual Victorian attire, wanting to make a good first impression, and he swatted Robert’s hand as he started untucking Damien’s shirt as an attempt to get his hand under it. “You’re shameless,” he smiled, there was no acrimony in his voice. Robert kissed him but it was cut off by a car pulling into their driveway.

“You’ll do fine,” Robert comforted, but he immediately ruined the mood by pulling Damien’s hair playfully as he stood up.

Damien rolled his eyes and gently moved Betsy off his lap before standing up to tuck his shirt back in. He rolled back on his heels while he waited for Robert to get the door, not wanting to over-impose. Damien would admit, his Spanish skills were not where they were in high school but he was fairly aware that what Val said when Robert opened the door was not Spanish. Catalyn maybe? He was fairly certain Catalyn sounded relatively similar to Spanish but he wasn’t a linguist so he decided not to read too far into it. Val hugged Robert after they had a brief conversation in maybe Catalyn before she turned to Damien. “Dad’s told me so much about you,” she said, grinning. She had Robert’s dark hair and eyes, and a very similar style, Damien wondered if that last part was intentional. “I feel like I already know you,” she laughed.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Valery,” he said, extending his hand. He noted silently how Robert’s face flushed when she called him Dad.

She waved him off politely “Val, please,” she kneeled down to pick up Betsy, who was still napping on the couch but immediately woke up and started wiggling excitedly and licking her face.

Robert chuckled and walked over to kiss Damien’s hair “and that’s Betsy, of course, yet another positive side effect of having Dames in my life,”

Damien blushed and hid his face in Robert’s shoulder briefly “stop it, you flatter me.”

“So,” Val said, putting Betsy down “you have a son?”

Damien lifted his head and nodded “I have a feeling he’d like you, after a while at least, he’d a bit…”

“Of an asshole,” Robert joked.

Damien shook his head and chuckled “you certainly are one to talk. He’s a sixteen-year-old boy.”

She smiled “ah, that’ll do it. He’s away for Christmas?” Damien sat back on the couch after Robert did. Val sat on one of the armchairs and pulled Betsy back on her lap.

Damien nodded “well, for the rest of the week. We moved from Boston relatively recently and he misses it.”

“What brought you out here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Work, mainly, and just looking for something simpler, as much as Lucien disagrees with me on that part.”

She nodded and turned to Robert, saying something else in that language that Damien couldn’t identify, a smile playing at her lips. He knew enough to recognize that he wasn’t supposed to be a part of this part of the conversation but he couldn’t help but listen in.

Damien ran through all the languages he had a basic knowledge of “huasim” wasn’t a word he recognized in any of them. He was tempted yet again to ask but this wasn’t the time.

Robert chuckled and replied with another brief “sa,” another word that Damien couldn’t pin down to any language he knew. While Damien had absolutely no issue with people speaking languages that we’re English, he did feel rather awkward not knowing what was being said around him so he was a little relieved when Robert returned to English “you two have that in common, Lucien I mean, both city people,”

Val smiled wider and leaned back in her chair, pulling Betsy up to her chest to hug her “I remember a time when it took…” there was a second where her smile faltered but only a second “a lot more than a career change to get you to leave the city.” Had they moved after the accident? Damien had been under the impression that Mary had known Val and her mother but maybe only by association. He wasn’t going to ask.

“That was a very different situation,” Robert said “I’m happy the way it turned out, though,” Damien blushed and looked away and out the window when Robert met his eyes and reached over to rub his shoulder.

“Wow,” Val laughed “never thought I’d hear you say that, I thought we’d be hearing,” another string of words Damien couldn’t understand “every day for the rest of my life,”

“The west has its advantages, I suppose,” Damien felt Robert’s eyes back on him and he was sure he was blushing again.

  
  


Val promised that the next time she’d stay for dinner, and Damien couldn’t help but notice how Robert’s face lit up when she mentioned “next time,” but that she had work in the morning. Damien hadn’t entirely meant to stay with Robert all day but he couldn’t help himself from sinking back into Robert’s arms when he flopped back onto the couch as Val closed the door behind her.

“She’s a very nice young woman,” Damien noted politely, leaning his head onto Robert’s shoulder.

Robert hummed and slipped his hand under Damien’s cloak to rub the small of his back. He didn’t reply and Damien wanted to ask if something was wrong but had a feeling that Robert wouldn’t tell him even if he asked. He was fairly certain that Robert would tell him when he was ready so instead he just laid with him until his phone rang. He leaned over and picked it up without bothering to check who was calling, he had a specific ringtone set for his son.

“Lucien, is everything okay?”

He sat up when Lucien didn’t answer immediately but his voice came through before Damien spoke again “dad, can I come home early?”

Damien was relieved to hear his voice but didn’t like the tone of it… Robert sat up as well and put his hand on Damien’s knee, watching him with concern. “Do you want me to come pick you up?”

“Do you mind?”

Damien was up before he managed to reply “of course I don’t, I can be over in a few hours.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Robert asked as Damien put his shoes back on.

“Alright, I love you,” Damien said before covering the speaker and turning back to Robert “I’ll be fine, darling, I’m sure it’s nothing too serious.”

“Call me if anything happens?”

Damien nodded and kissed Robert quickly before speed-walking to his car. As much as he would love to have Robert with him, he also respected Lucien’s privacy and knew that Lucien might not want him there when he was clearly upset. 

Damien was usually a pretty careful driver - tonight was an exception. The drive into the city usually took a little under three hours, Damien made it in two. He tried not to panic too much while he drove, Lucien was probably fine, but he kept one hand that wasn’t holding the wheel tightly on his phone in case he called again.

_ Can you text me your address? I’m not far.  _ He texted from a red light once he got into the city.

He was relieved when his phone dinged after only another second. He usually didn’t check his phone when he was driving but he made an exception to pull up directions to Lucien’s location. He’d been to college, he knew a house party when he saw one (and in this case, when he got a block away and heard the music blaring). He spotted a few people stumbling around the front of the house while they waited for rides or tried unsuccessfully to get away from the music enough to have a conversation. Lucien was sitting on the sidewalk when Damien pulled up. He quickly dropped and stepped on his cigarette as he stood up, Damien decided that this wasn’t the time to address that as Lucien quickly got into the car.

Damien waited until they were out of sight of the house before glancing over at his son “anything you want to talk about?” He said uncertainty.

Lucien just shook his head, leaning against the window. Damien tried to keep his eyes on the road but he also felt the instinctive need to watch Lucien just to make sure he was okay. He felt like if he looked away for too long, Lucien would be gone when he looked back. Every time he glanced back, though, Lucien was still there, and still looking out the window, occasionally bathed in yellow light by the street lamps before going dark again. The highway was empty enough that Damien felt comfortable calling Robert using voice commands once they got onto it.

“Please tell me you’re fine,” Robert said after only the second ring.

Damien smiled “we’re fine, Robert, we’re on our way home.”

Robert sighed with relief and from the muffled sound in the background, Damien was fairly certain he just collapsed into bed. He could imagine Robert staying awake by the phone for hours, waiting for him to call. What did he do to deserve him? “Good, and he’s…”

Damien glanced at Lucien for a moment before looking back to the road “yes, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright? Get some rest.”

“Okay, as long as you’re both safe. I love you.”

Damien smiled “I love you too, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Robert said before hanging up. There was a moment where neither of them talked, Damien wasn’t going to pry and Lucien didn’t seem like he wanted to share. 

After a minute, Lucien huffed and crossed his arms “it sounds stupid,”

Damien glanced over again “oh?” he asked simply, not wanting to discourage him farther.

“Fine,” Lucien said, still looking out the window, “you just have to promise not to… like… laugh or something.”

“I promise.” This was progress. Damien would take that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Using google translate to guess where I'm going with this is illegal now, fyi, because I make the rules and want you to be surprised
> 
> Thanks for reading! Remember to leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) with feedback or just to chat because I love hearing from you. See you next week!


	19. Chapter 19

“I just… it didn’t feel like anyone really wanted me around…” Lucien said quietly.

Damien pursed his lips. He did know. Growing apart from people was hard, especially when it seems like they don’t even notice or care. He nodded and reached over to stroke Lucien’s hair “I understand, that must be difficult.”

Lucien leaned his head away and Damien put his hand back on the wheel “it just sucks, ‘cause like… I thought it was all going to be just the same and, like, we didn’t  _ not _ get along, we just… I felt like the third wheel once everyone was together.”

“Sadly, sometimes that does happen, that doesn’t make it hurt any less when it does, though.”

“It just still sucks.”

Damien would have loved to fix it for Lucien. It hurt knowing that there was absolutely nothing he could do to make things better, though. Seeing Lucien hurt felt worse than anything and he couldn’t do anything about it. “It does very much still suck. I’m sorry your trip didn’t go as planned.”

Lucien didn’t reply to that, instead shifting the conversation - Damien was glad he was still talking, though. “What did Robert want?”

Damien smiled, as he found himself always doing when the subject of Robert was brought up “he just wanted to know that you were safe.” 

Lucien raised an eyebrow “why does he care?”

“Because he cares about you. As much as you hate to admit it, you have people in your life who love you.” Damien joked.

“That’s stupid of him, he must really love you to care about me.”

Damien tutted softly and shook his head “it doesn’t take much for someone to love you, dear, even if you don’t see it.”

Lucien rolled his eyes but he was smiling now “whatever, dad. Thanks for coming to get me.”

“Of course,” Damien smiled “thank you for telling me when you were uncomfortable.”

“Uh-huh,” Lucien muttered, “I love you.”

Damien hid a wider smile behind one hand “I love you too, Lucien.”

  
  


Now that Lucien was home, it started to really feel like Christmas. He woke up the next morning to Lucien having put a Christmas record on downstairs and the coffee maker going already. Damien smiled and took in the peaceful moment before getting himself out of bed. He was surprised to find Lucien in the living room in front of the tree instead of in his room. Damien sat beside him on the couch “you certainly are up early,” he noted.

Lucien looked up from his phone “am I not allowed to be?”

“Only an observation, love, everything alright?”

Lucien leaned back against the arm of the couch “yeah, just good to be home.”

Damien smiled as Lucien picked up his mug of coffee and cream with a candy cane sticking out of it, a subtle reference to how Damien used to make his hot chocolate around the holidays when he was younger. “It’s good to have you home. I’m sure Ernest will be excited to see you as well.”

Lucien laughed softly “yeah, I guess. I’ll go see him later.”

Damien nodded “of course, it’s your holiday, spend it how you want,” he said, then smiled to himself “within reason,” he added.

“So I’ve got permission to do whatever I want?” Lucien jokes.

“Within reason,” Damien repeated, “Robert has a daughter not too much older than you,”

Lucien shrugged “and?”

“I only thought that you might like her. She seems like the kind of person you’d enjoy.”

Lucien nodded “Robert’s cool, I guess, are they going to come over for Christmas?”

Damien hummed “I hadn’t thought to ask, I’m sure Robert will have his own holiday plans with his family, but would you like me to?”

Lucien shrugged again passively “I don’t care, he’s your boyfriend.”

Damien considered it, he knew Robert didn’t have much family close by besides Val, maybe he should “I’ll see if he has plans, for right now I’m just happy to have you here. I do think you would like Val, though. You are… both very free-spirited.”

Lucien rolled his eyes and hid a laugh behind his coffee mug “uh-huh, that’s a nice way of putting it. She’s not, like… going to be my sister, though.”

“I never said she had to be.”

  
  


“What’s up, kid?” Robert asked casually as Lucien passed by on his way back to his room. Damien was sitting on the floor of his studio and working on an oil painting. Robert had his laptop on his lap though Damien had a suspicion that he hadn’t come over to work as much as for an excuse to be close to him again, not that he’d ask or Robert would admit it. He sat up from where he was laying with his head on Damien’s lap when Lucien stepped into the room.

“Hey,” Lucien said, his hands behind his back, Damien wasn't sure if he was hiding something or just nervous.

Damien looked up and smiled, it was good to see Lucien around the house and not just hiding out in his room while Robert was over “everything alright, love?”

Lucien nodded “just saying hi. Sorry for interrupting your night by making dad come get me.”

Damien frowned but Robert spoke before he could “no worries, bud, glad to see you doin’ well.”

Lucien nodded and disappeared. Robert chuckled and laid back down “he’s a sweet kid,”

Damien smiled, going back to his painting “indeed.” He hesitated after a moment but decided that the conversation was important “Robert, may I ask you a personal question?”

Robert pursed his lips and Damien hoped this wasn’t prying too far into his past “you are from Spain originally, correct?”

Robert clenched his jaw and sat up “I never said that.”

Damien supposed he never had told him that directly, it had been on his book’s bio page, though. He had said his family wasn’t in the country but had never told Damien where they were. “I suppose not… may I ask where you are from? You don’t have to answer if you don’t wish to.”

Robert exhaled in a way that puffed his cheeks out and Damien really wanted to lean over and kiss him because he really was so adorable sometimes but this definitely wasn’t the time. “I wasn’t not telling you because I didn’t trust you - I just - it didn’t come up and it’s always a weird conversation because -” Robert cut himself off and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck “was it Val that gave it away?”

Damien turned slightly to face Robert “I’m no linguist, but I can recognize Spanish at least. There’s nothing you could say that would change how I see you, though, love.”

Robert hummed and chuckled softly to himself “we moved to Spain a few years after Val was born because - things had been bad for a while but - I couldn’t justify staying in Iran.” 

Damien didn’t have an answer that he was expecting, but it wasn’t that - he sat with his mouth hanging open and his eyebrows furrowed together for definitely longer than was comfortable for Robert. “This is why I didn’t tell you,” Robert sighed.

Damien shook his head and took Robert’s hand quickly “no, Robert, please, I… it doesn’t change anything I just didn’t expect that, I’d never judge you based on that, i-in fact I really respect what you did for your family.”

Robert rubbed the bridge of his nose “uh-huh.” He said dismissively.

Damien sighed “I’m sorry I’ve upset you.”

Robert looked up and pulled Damien onto his lap “I just didn’t want you to have a reason to think I wouldn’t…”

Damien leaned his head on Robert’s chest and nodded, he didn’t need Robert to finish that sentence. He was ashamed to admit to himself that he’d had a brief moment where he wondered if Robert would be able to be proud to be with him in the long term. He’d dismissed the thought quickly but it had still happened. He reached down and ran his fingers along the seam of Robert’s jeans and murmured “I love you” softly because there was nothing else to say.

“I love you too,” Robert said into Damien’s hair and Damien was pretty sure that from the tone of his voice, that he was smiling.

Damien still had a lot of questions but decided that it would be better to find their answers organically instead of prying further. He instead just slowly got up and stretched, reaching back down to stroke Robert’s hair. “Would you like to stay for lunch?”

Robert pulled himself to his feet as well “I should probably get going, could I convince you to come back with me for a few hours?” He asked, casually slipping his hand into the back pocket of Damien’s pants.

Damien chuckled and rolled his eyes, kissing him and pushing the door closed “we shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Robert chuckled, seemingly emotionally recovered.

Damien kissed him again but pulled away when Robert started pushing him against the door “alright, love, enough.”

Robert whined but stepped back respectfully “I’ll leave the door unlocked just in case.”

Damien rolled his eyes, but somehow he had a feeling he’d find himself in Robert’s bed soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so here's the thing: I know not very many people will share this headcanon because it's really out of left field but this is just an idea I like so be kind to me. I know Arabic and study Persian culture and I would love to incorporate that part of my life into more fics fittingly but the amount of cannon middle eastern representation (that isn't racist/xenophobic oops I said what I said) is really low so I'm making my own. Especially when it comes to queer middle eastern representation. I'm happy to talk with anyone in the comments about how I headcanon Robert so long as it's respectful. You are welcome to accept or not accept my headcanon into how you view Robert because I hate to break it to y'all but it's a fictional character we can have different ideas of him without anyone being right or wrong. I will be deleting mean comments so don't bother leaving them.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I've had this idea since I started writing and gone back and forth about whether I was going to include it because I know not everyone likes it but it's my fic and I do what I want. I really do hope you enjoyed it, though. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) or leave me a comment! I love talking to you guys!


	20. Chapter 20

Damien rolled over and pulled Robert’s blankets tighter around himself. “Hey,” Robert murmured tiredly into the back of Damien’s neck “stop hogging the covers.”

Damien smiled and wiggled back closer to Robert. He checked his watch, 1 in the morning, officially Christmas Eve. The past week and a half had been a blur since Lucien came home with work to get ahead on, last-minute gifts to buy, baking, and traditions to uphold. He hadn’t been in a relationship where all he wanted to do was be around the other person for a long time, he didn’t think he’d ever wanted to be around someone he was dating as much as he felt like he needed to be around Robert. He’d forgotten how much that feeling could get in the way of the rest of his life. He wouldn’t trade it, though, he’d take running around between houses and working late nights if it meant getting to wake up beside Robert more often. He had been so busy that being able to just lie in bed now felt like heaven. He closed his eyes again and smiled “what are your plans for tomorrow? Val coming over?”

“I suppose tomorrow is Christmas now, is it?” He kissed Damien’s temple “no plans.”

Damien rolled back over “really? You don’t have any Christmas traditions or anything?”

Robert chuckled softly “uh, no. I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

Damien’s tired brain finally caught back up “oh lord, I really am an idiot. I apologize. You’re not Christian, are you?” Damien hadn’t even considered that Robert’s traditions would differ deeply from his own. He’d known there would be some things they would not share but it was easy to feel like Christmas was a universal event when it really wasn’t.

Robert shushed him and shook his head “it’s fine, love, it’s a big deal for most people, and it’s not something I talk about much.”

“You’ll need to excuse my ignorance on Islam, but are you practicing?”

Robert sighed and rolled onto his back to look up at the ceiling “I haven’t been for a while, I’ve broken some pretty major rules with the alcohol thing and how much I love Hawaiian pizza but I’m getting back into it a bit. I actually started praying again and I’m working on cutting out some of the other stuff. Don’t make a big deal out of it, though, yeah?”

Damien couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him regardless “can I still be proud of you?”

Robert’s hand slid up Damien’s back “I suppose, if you have to be.”

“Well I am. I won’t say anything, though, I know there’s a… stigma…” Robert just nodded and pulled Damien even closer. “If you do want to come over, though, there is plenty of room for you, and Val if she wants to. We don’t make it a religious thing, we just eat a lot of peppermint bark and have a big dinner.”

Robert smiled “yeah, I’ll see what she’s up to, if it’d make you happy.”

Damien grinned up at him. He’d never want to pressure Robert into a lifestyle that he didn’t want but he was happy to have Robert there. He was aware that relationships with people of vastly different backgrounds were not easy but he would do his best to have Robert a part of his life without trying to change him. He’d have to make sacrifices for Robert as well if this were to work out: perhaps he’d learn some Arabic or Farsi, languages that he’d learned that Robert was more comfortable in than English despite his English being better than most native speakers. He smiled and pressed closer again “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I’m proud of you,” he smiled, pushing his luck.

Robert huffed in mock-annoyance but he was smiling “I know you are,”

“I’m not going to let you forget that.”

“Oh trust me, I know that too.”

“Good,” Damien smiled and wiggled closer, closing his eyes again.

Robert rubbed his back soothingly and chuckled “go back to bed, babe.” After a second, he added “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

  
  


Damien found that Robert was far more talkative now that he was getting comfortable speaking - Damien couldn’t tell you what language it was but it wasn’t English. He talked to himself and to Betsy quite a lot as he moved around the house after he’d slipped out of bed not long after sunrise. Not knowing what Robert was saying didn’t make him uncomfortable anymore, he was happy that Robert had been willing to share that with him. It made hearing even simple utterances Robert said to himself or when he got after Betsy for whining feel deeply personal. He tried to commit a few recurring phrases to memory so he could better recognize and understand them but his tired brain would have struggled to handle English at the moment. Damien knew that he needed to get out of bed and get home before too late into the morning but listening to Robert talk and watching him so comfortable was something he wouldn’t give up.

“How long have you been up?” Robert asked when he caught Damien watching him from the open bedroom door.

Damien shrugged innocently and yawned “not long. I like listening to you.”

Robert came back into the room and leaned down to kiss his cheek “sorry, I try to speak English when people are around.”

Damien sat up, wrapping the blankets around his shoulders “you don’t have to do that.” Robert just shook his head and chuckled to himself before walking back over to the back door to let Betsy back inside. Damien grabbed one of Robert’s t-shirts off of his dresser and pulled it on before following him “what?”

Robert shrugged passively “you’re just… what did I do to deserve you?”

Damien pursed his lips “for not making you speak English to yourself in your own home just due to me being here? I really do not think I’m doing anything too drastic here, love.”

Robert picked up Betsy as she ran inside. He didn’t say anything as he refilled her water bowl. Damien didn’t like how appreciative Robert was for such basic respect but he could also understand it. While that level of mutual respect should be a given in any relationship, romantic or not, it often wasn’t. Damien had experienced a similar feeling of relief when Robert had accepted him being trans without concern. Robert changed the subject before Damien could say anything more “is there anything I should do for tomorrow?”

Damien shook his head “I can handle dinner and everything, you are more than welcome to simply come by.”

Robert leaned against the counter “you’ll need to be more specific than that. Should I bring gifts? Or dress up? I’ve never been to a Christmas before.”

Damien smiled and kissed Robert quickly. It was sweet that he was nervous about doing the right thing, though Damien still wished he wasn’t. “Lucien and I never make a big deal of it, it’s more about an excuse to spend the day together, which is why I’d love to have you and Val there. Has Mary never invited you over? I always remembered her making such a fuss over holidays…”

Robert laughed and wrapped one arm around Damien’s waist to keep him from backing up again, not that Damien had any intention to “Christmas with Joseph would be a less than comfortable experience for so many reasons.”

“Ah,” Damien had forgotten that Robert hadn’t known a pre-Joseph Mary, and a Christmas with Joseph would likely be a lot for anyone, nevermind someone who wasn’t Christian. Damien had also forgotten that Joseph was Robert’s ex and he wishes that fact could have remained forgotten. He wondered how Joseph would have taken Robert’s history, well, he hoped, but he wouldn’t bring it up just in case it was a touchy subject. “I can imagine that wouldn’t be… an enjoyable experience. Hopefully, tomorrow will be more enjoyable.”

Robert smiled and kissed Damien’s temple, mumbling softly “I have a feeling it will be, habibi,”

“What’s that mean?” Damien asked.

“The first part means that I think tomorrow will be enjoyable, the second part is ‘baby’ in Arabic.”

Damien rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck and pressed his face into his shoulder to hide his grin.

  
  


Lucien didn’t say anything when Damien got back home, just leaned over to see who had walked in then waved. Damien had tried to make it back early enough that Lucien was still asleep but the universe really wasn’t on his side. He needed to have a conversation with him about tomorrow anyway so maybe this was better. He smiled to himself before walking over to his door, hoping that Lucien hadn’t changed his mind about having Robert over “do you have a second, love?”

Lucien took his headphones off and looked up “I guess. What’s up, dad?”

“I just wanted to let you know that Robert and Val are going to be joining us for dinner tomorrow night, are you sure you’re still alright with that?”

Lucien nodded and looked back at his laptop “yeah, that’s fine. You guys are like… fully a thing now? Like, moving in together level of thing?”

Damien hummed “well, I suppose we are rather serious at this point, but I have no plans on changing living situations right now, if you’re worried about that.”

“Okay. Robert’s cool so, like, if you wanted to…”

Damien chuckled “I have your blessing?”

Lucien rolled his eyes “don’t make it weird, dad, but yeah. It’s not like he’s not here half the time anyway.”

Damien nodded “I suppose you have a point. Thank you.”

“Are they coming over all day?”

Damien shook his head “I figured we’d have most of the day be just us, I don’t want you to feel like you’re not still…” he trailed off, hoping that Lucien could understand the message he couldn’t find words for. Lucien was so incredibly important to him and as much as he loved Robert, Lucien was still going to be his first priority. “I believe they are joining us for dinner exclusively.”

Lucien nodded and put his headphones back on but Damien noticed that there was a hint of a smile on his lips. Damien shut the door behind him when he left and smiled to himself. He didn’t plan on inviting Robert to move in any time soon, but it was good to know that he wouldn’t have to fight with Lucien over it when the time did come. When. He pondered that thought for a second. He didn’t even consider  _ if _ he would be asking Robert to live with him, it was only a matter of time in his mind. He really was in deep this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one has given me feedback on this so I'm just assuming that you all love it. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwirings) or in the comments! Thank you for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

Damien usually said that his favourite holiday was Halloween, it was expected and not entirely false, he did love Halloween, and perhaps today wasn’t what people usually consider a holiday, but his favourite day of the year was definitely Christmas Eve. It was so… quiet. It seemed like the whole world was holding its breath and yet it all felt so stress-free. Damien watched the fireplace die down from the couch where he had been watching Christmas specials with Lucien until he had fallen asleep with his head on his father’s lap. Damien had turned the tv off after that so he could enjoy the silence. He checked his phone with his hand that wasn’t holding Lucien’s.

_ Robert: Val says she’ll come for dinner tomorrow _

Damien smiled and texted back, trying to ignore how much he wanted Robert there with them. As much as he loved Robert, he also knew that he would need to share his time between Robert and Lucien, there were times that just needed to be for him and his son. He hoped that there would be a time when all of them could be a family but they wouldn’t be able to reach that if he forced it. Lucien didn’t seem to mind Robert, and Robert had said that he didn’t want to be a dad again, but he was getting used to being Val’s father again… Lucien deserved another person in his life who loved him. Val probably did too.

_ I’m pleased to hear that _

He couldn’t replace Val’s mother - not in her eyes or Robert’s - but he hoped he could… help fill some of the void she left. He hoped Robert might one day do the same for Lucien’s father. He’d already done so for Damien, Lucien was a harder case, though. He was stubborn and headstrong and convinced the world was out to get him but at the same time he was so full of love. He deserved to feel the same amount of love he showed for the people he cared about.

_ Robert: wanna come over for a while? _

Damien smiled and almost shifted out from under Lucien but…

_ I’m afraid I am not available tonight. I’m spending some time with Lucien, but I look forward to your company tomorrow. _

Lucien still came first.

_ Robert: got it. See you tomorrow. _

  
  


“Dad,” Lucien said, waking Damien from where he’d fallen asleep on the couch with Lucien “it’s eight,”

Damien opened one eye and chuckled softly, even at sixteen, Lucien still couldn’t contain his excitement about Christmas, always awake right at eight. He shifted to sit up “alright, alright, give me a second to wake up,”

“Dad, come on,” Lucien complained impatiently. In anyone else, that would have been annoying, but Damien couldn’t help but find it endearing when it came from Lucien.

“Alright,” he repeated “go on.” He watched Lucien pick up the first present and smiled, watching him open it. Their Christmasses were always small with not having much contact with Lucien’s other father’s side of the family or any of Damien’s family. Lucien’s father’s side always sent Lucien gifts but it was always just the two of them.

Damien was more than content to watch Lucien open his presents: some gift cards from his grandparents on his other father’s side, Red Socks tickets from his father, a pair of faux-leather combat boots that Damien knew he’d been saving up for - for a while before pausing the festivities to get breakfast. Damien always made waffles on Christmas morning, a leftover tradition from his own childhood, and let Lucien put as many toppings on them as he wanted. “Lucien, will you please call your father?” He asked, walking to the kitchen.

Lucien sighed, crossing his arms “do I have to?”

Damien watched at him sadly “yes, love, please at least say thank you and Merry Christmas”

Lucien huffed and took his phone out, disappearing off onto the porch “I don’t even like baseball,” he complained before closing the door. Damien knew it was hard on him but it was also the right thing to do to have him at least call a few times a year. He decided to text Robert while Lucien was out and while the waffle iron was heating up. As he opened their conversation, it seemed that Robert had beaten him to it.

_ Robert: Merry Christmas. I got something for Lucien, let me know when I should bring it over. _

Damien smiled and leaned against the counter, he should have known Robert would get him something.

_ Come over any time, though Lucien is in a mood about talking to his father _

_ Robert: I take it he’s not coming by? _

_ No _

He sighed. He didn’t mean to be short with Robert but he was also frustrated.

_ He’s spending Christmas with his family. _

_ Robert: Let me take Betsy for a walk and I’ll be over in an hour. Love you. _

_ Love you too _

He slipped his phone back into his pocket as Lucien came back in “he wants to talk to you,” he said, handing Damien his phone.

“Hello, Sean,” he said, holding it between his shoulder and ear as he stirred the ingredients into a batter.

“Hey, Merry Christmas,” Damien’s ex said from the phone.

“Merry Christmas,” Damien said, smiling slightly. As mad as he was at Sean… he didn’t entirely blame him. He’d tried to make things work for a while, longer than a lot of people would, and he did still try to spend time with Lucien now and then. He didn’t blame him for them splitting up, they just weren’t meant to be together, but he certainly did blame him for not spending more time with Lucien.

“Have you gotten to what I sent you yet?”

“You know you don’t have to do that,”

“I know,” Sean said “but I wanted to. If it’s not your style let me know and I can forward the receipt to you, it’s electronic so…”

Damien rolled his eyes and smiled “I will, thank you. How are the kids?”

“Good,” Sean laughed “I swear they get more rambunctious about this stuff every year…” he trailed off “so, um, Lucien said you’re seeing someone?”

Damien poured the batter onto the iron and hummed “yes, for a few months now.”

“And? What’s he like? Lucien seems to like him.”

“I think he does, yes. He’s…” how did he even describe Robert? “He’s a writer, spontaneous type, thought I was a vampire when we first met and tried to kill me,”

“Hold on, what? You serious?”

“He’s got a thing for cryptid hunting.”

“Seems like a weird guy, you like him, though?”

Damien chuckled “he is, and I do. He makes me really happy.”

“That’s good, I’m happy for you. I gotta go before the kids get too out of control here but Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. It was good to hear from you.”

“You too,”

Damien hung up and tossed Lucien’s phone back onto his lap. “Was that so bad?”

Lucien crossed his arms “I just don’t get why we have to pretend like we’re one big happy family,”

Damien sighed, bringing the plate of waffles over to the table “I don’t ask you to do that, but I do expect you to be polite and say thank you when people do things for you. I know it’s not easy.”

“Just sucks,” he said, moving to the table as Damien brought over a tray of whipped cream, chocolate chips, and fruit.

“I know it does. To change the subject, Robert may come by in about an hour, is that alright with you?”

“Sure,” Lucien said, dumping a pile of sprinkles, syrup, and every other topping known to man onto his plate of waffles. “Is he doing the whole Christmas thing?”

Damien sat down and exhaled softly “well, Lucien, that’s actually something that we should talk about. Robert is-”

“Muslim, yeah, I know. That’s why I asked.” Lucien said between bites of food.

Damien raised an eyebrow “you knew?”

“Everyone knows, it’s not, like, a big deal.”

Damien rested his chin on his hand “no, I suppose it’s not. Any other neighborhood gossip I should know about?”

“Did you know that Mat tried to buy week from me last weekend?”

Damien coughed and eyed his son “what gave him the impression you were selling weed?”

Lucien shrugged “I asked if he wanted to buy weed. Don’t worry, though, it was just oregano. And I made 100 bucks.”

  
  


Damien let Robert in and hugged him quickly in the doorway “thank you for coming,” he mumbled softly into Robert’s neck.

“Of course,” Robert chuckled, squeezing Robert’s hip before stepping inside “I brought gifts.”

Damien sighed and shook his head “I told you that wasn’t necessary,” he turned instead to Val, knowing that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Robert on this subject, and he didn’t really mind anyway “pleasure to see you again, dear,”

“You too, your house is so sweet. I dig the gargoyles.”

“Thank you. Robert,” he turned back to Robert, who was now leaning against the couch “I told you that there’s nothing else that I require and I-”

“Who said they were for you?” He joked before handing a box to Lucien “sorry it’s not wrapped or anything, kiddo,”

Damien chuckled and watched Lucien open the box, his face immediately lighting up when he saw what was inside.

“Dude,” Lucien grinned “dad’s gonna kill me.”

Before Damien could say anything, Robert put an outreached hand on Damien’s shoulder to keep him from seeing what Lucien had “no, your father is going to kill me. You can’t be blamed for just doing what you’re told.”

“Robert, really, what did you do?” Damien glanced at him and then at Val, who held her hands up in surrender before returning to admiring an oil painting on the wall.

“Did you do these? Dad said you painted.” Val asked.

Damien’s frown faded for a second “yes, actually, a few I’ve had commissioned, but that one is mine.”

“It’s fantastic. I could never get a handle on traditional art. Your eye for colour is outstanding.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” he turned back to Lucien and Robert, shrugging Robert’s hand off and interlacing their fingers before stepping over “please tell me that’s not…” he trailed off, reading the label on the box.

“I promise I’ll be careful with it, dad!”

Damien shook his head before looking up at Robert, whose arm had wrapped back around his waist “a tattoo gun? Really?”

“Come on, babe, he’ll be fine. What sense is there in making him wait until he’s eighteen if he wants to work on this now?”

Damien sighed and tried not to smile, glancing back to Lucien “you really want to do this whole tattoo artist thing?”

Lucien nodded “I’m actually good at this, dad. Ernest let me give him a stick and poke and it’s so sick.”

Damien shook his head, but he was smiling “fine, but only if you’re safe and don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

Lucien swung his legs over the couch to hug his father “thank you! This is gonna be so cool.”

Damien watched him walk over to the table to take everything out of the box and look at it “if this backfires, it’s on you, Robert. And now I suppose we’ll be looking into - what - art school? Trade schools? Where do you even go to become a tattoo artist? Is that more on an apprenticeship thing?”

Robert chuckled and pulled Damien against him, hugging him comfortingly “relax, babe. It’ll be alright.”

Lucien looked at where Val was showing Lucien polaroids she’d taken and Lucien was talking about tattoo ideas “yeah,” he looked back up at Robert “yes, you’re right. It will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap.  
This story meant so much to me and I appreciate everyone who read it so much! As always, don't hesitate to reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) because while I may be done writings for ddadds (for now at least), I'll still be participating in fandom stuff there. I'd also love to hear from you guys in the comments if you have any thoughts about the story! I'm going to miss writing this so much but I hope that you all enjoyed it! Thanks again for reading! I know it was a long read, I hope it was worth it and that you enjoyed! Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter! I've never written this ship before but a bunch of people requested it on my tumblr (which you should follow for updates @lupinwritings) so here we are. I should also disclaim that I am cis, though my best who is trans is helping me with making sure that Damien's experiences are accurate. If I ever do write something that isn't accurate, please do let me know.
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos to let me know what you think! They keep me motivated.


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